The Brotherhood: Half Baked
by Seaidau
Summary: Ranma and Ryoga have just rescently met in High School, and are good friends. Some would say they're like brothers... But what's this? There's a cop after them? They're both smokin' drugs? This could be interesting... AU.
1. Toke, Toke, Pass!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or the characters. All I own is a character I made up (Officer Fuku) and this story.

**Author Notes**: Rated **R** for **retarded/language/drug and adult humor/author notes**. Fuck. see? rated **R**. This story is an **A/U**. The beginning of this fic takes place when Ranma and Ryoga were in **Junior High together**. They are friends in this fic, so they aren't in **character**. They're also big time **pot-heads**. If ya don't like it, **don't read it**. I bolded the end of every sentence on **purpose**. **LOL.**

_Quick Note: Grow trees, smoke weed, love life. Thats my motto._

_**The Brotherhood: Half Baked**_

**Chapter 1: Toke, toke, pass!**

"Hurry up and spark it!" Ryoga complained to his companion, waiting impatiently to get the 'magical' herbs into his system.

"Yeah yeah," Ranma replied, placing the tightly rolled joint in his mouth. Digging into his pocket, he pulled his hand out to reveal a small zippo lighter. He flicked it open and lit the doobie, sucking on it.

The boy inhaled it then grinned to himself at the distinct taste and the light head rush he just got.. "You know man.. this is some pretty good shit." Ranma complimented, staring down the doobie. "Where'd you find it?" he asked as he continued to puff.

"Heh, I can't tell you that," Ryoga responded with a smirk, "Toke, toke, pass." Ranma handed Ryoga the well-rolled joint, who sucked on it and inhaled. He repeated the action a few times then passed it back to the ponytailed boy. "Hydro. Wicked shit man," the bandanna-clad lad said, holding the smoke in his lungs.

"Haha.. Wicked is right, I feel 'er already. Why don't you come to my house after? I got some mushrooms in my room."

"'Aight man. Lets stop at my place first, so I can get my weed." Ranma just nodded in appreciation.

Darkness loomed over the empty alleyway that the two boys were in. The only light was provided by the cherry of the joint, glowing ever so brightly with each haul. They were sitting on the steps of a hair salon that lead to a back entrance, facing the dead end of the alley. While the time passed and the night air began to cool, the two boys continued to smoke and pass, until a car rolled up to the mouth of the only exit.

Ranma and Ryoga's eyes widened in paranoia when they heard the car stop, and saw bright colorful lights flashing off of the wall they were facing. Simultaniously, they both slowly turned around to see a very familiar white caparice cruiser and a very familiar overweight man dressed in a blue uniform step out of it. He recognized the two stoners immediately.

"You two mother fuckers AGAIN?!" he barked, breaking the silence.

"Fuck, 5-O!! Run!" Ranma cried. He bolted off towards the dead end at the back of the alley and leapt over it, while Ryoga ran directly towards the officer via bad sense of direction. He was about to stop him, but figured Ryoga could take care of himself even if he was a little high. So he just kept running..... and smoking the joint.

The officer was already giving chase to the lost boy. Fortunately for Ryoga, he realized that he was going in the wrong direction, and cursed himself silently before turning around to flee. Just before the cop's hand could grab him, he leapt with great force to the roof of the hair salon.

"Get down here you god damn hoodlum!" the officer screamed, spit flying in all directions.

"Sorry, piggy. Maybe ya should lay a bit of slack in them donuts." Ryoga burst out laughing before taking off.

"You two delinquents ain't gettin' away this time!" the man in blue yelled to himself. He ran back to his cruiser, cursing and sweaing, then jumped in. The sirens blared and the car shifted to one side, and the tires spun as the cop floored the gas pedal.

An extremely high Ranma wiped the sweat off his face as he caught his breath. He laughed to himself over what just happened, then wondered if Ryoga was okay. After all, he ran straight towards the cop.. At that thought, the lost boy himself slammed into Ranma at full speed, knocking both of them ass over teakettle. Ranma rubbed his head then looked at the boy who carelessly knocked him over, ready to give him a good punch. Then he noticed it was Ryoga.

"Watch where yer goin'!" shouted the lost boy angrily.

"You," Ranma replied calmly. Ryoga got a closer look at the person who so rudely pushed him down.

"Oh, it's you. WHY DIDN'T YOU PASS THE DOOBIE?!?!"

"You ran the other way!! Anyways, we're at my place. I doubt we'd make it back to your house with Fuku on the prowl. C'mon dude, you can stay here for the night."

"I don't see why not. Besides, those 'shrooms sound inviting," Ryoga said with a smirk. The two walked inside the back door that led to the kitchen and passed through the hallway into the livingroom. On the floor sat a very spaced out-looking Genma, grinning at absolutly nothing and staring at the wall. Ranma eyed him then walked up the stairs, followed by Ryoga. Just as he reached the first step, his father spoke up.

"Boy." he said sternly.

Ranma looked at his father, of whom's bloodshot eyes told an elaborate story that that he was higher then a kite. "What?"

"I heard sirens. That wouldn't happen to be your fault, would it?" he asked, staring into Ranma's equally red eyes. Ryoga grew noticably nervous.

"Uhh.. Actually, yeah. Fuku again."

Genma grinned. "Hehehe, got away again huh? Musta been a trip out this late at night."

"Mm hmm" Ranma mumbled, continuing up the stairs and into his room. When he and Ryoga got to the room, Ranma shut the door and locked it.

"I never asked this before, but does your old man smoke?" Ryoga asked.

"Uh huh, he's been doin' it since he was 10."

The ponytailed boy walked over to his dresser and pulled out the middle drawer, looking inside. His eyes grew wide in frustration. Sitting there, where ten grams of mushrooms used to lay, there were only four left.

"OLD BASTARD!!!!!" Ranma screamed at the top of his lungs. He opened the door and flew down the stairs at a hundred miles per hour. "What'd you do with my shrooms!!?" the boy hollared.

Genma calmly, but obviously with some trouble stood to his feet, then smiled. "Don't worry son. I got just the thing to repay you."

"Oh yeah?" Ranma questioned, cracking his knuckles, "And what's that?"

Genma strode into the kitchen, stumbling a few times and laughing at himself when he did. He then opened the freezer and grabbed a few bottles out of a white bag, then walked back to where the two boys impatiently stood.

"Imported alcohol from Canada. Royal Reserve, Black Velvet, and Jack Daniels. Cheers!" Genma laughed.

"I suppose I'll forgive ya THIS TIME." Ranma said, shooting him an evil glare. Genma walked into the kitchen and sat on one of the chairs next to the table. Ryoga followed him, and Ranma ran back upstairs. He returned with the shrooms and handed two grams to Ryoga. At the same time they both took the drugs out of the little baggies, put them in their mouths and started chewing. After Genma cracked open the bottle of Royal Reserve and filled the glasses, they swallowed and washed it down with the whiskey. Ryoga looked like he just bit into a very sour lemon.

"Ugh.." groaned Ranma as he let out a big belch. Genma chugged down the entire contents of his own glass, then pulled out a small plastic sandwich bag full of weed from his pocket.

"Who gots papers?" he asked, looking between the two boys.

"Here," said Ryoga as he pulled out a packet of rolling papers. He took four out and handed them to the older man. "Roll a big one."

Genma grinned then skillfully he licked parts of the papers and stuck them together to make a perfect two by two paper. He took a pleasant amount of weed and littered it on top, then began to shape it.

"Jeez pops, even when your fucked up on mush' you can still roll like a pro." Ranma commented.

"Quiet boy!" Genma snapped, almost losing the load. "I'm tryin' to concen-centrate."

Ryoga and Ranma both stiffled a laugh as Genma babbled like a moron and rolled the paper up to the lip. He licked the wing and sealed the fat joint. After tightening one end, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of imported American cigarettes.

"Holy fuck pop, you sure smuggle a lot of shit," Ranma noted while refilling his glass with R & R.

"I got connections," the bald man responded as he ripped a large rectangular chunk off the top of the cardboard pack. He took out a cigarette and put it on top of his ear. "Smoke for later?" he asked, offering one to either of the boys. They both gratefully took one and stuck them on their ears for after the joint. Genma rolled the piece of cardboard into a filter, and pushed it into the gaping end of the doob. He then put the cigarettes back in his pocket and observed his work, smirking. "Dis one's packed, boys."

As Ryoga refilled his glass with more of the whiskey, Genma lit up the huge fatty in his mouth. He took a few drags off of it and passed it to Ryoga.

"Shit," Genma said quietly, noticing the blinds on the window were opened. He got up and shut them, but not before catching a glimpse of a shaded car that had just parked on the street by his house. "Damn. Fuku's watchin' us again."

"Psh, that crack-baby won't do nuttin'. He's a joke." Ranma said with a grin. Ryoga passed the joint over to Ranma and chuckled.

"Heh heh... donuts," the lost boy mumbled to himself as he felt the alcohol and weed mixing inside of him. Genma shut off the lights and turned on a very dim lamp, then sat back down and refilled his glass with the remaining R & R. He took a sip of it and smiled inwardly to himself. Ryoga finished off his drink, then continued, "Ya know Ranma, you should do somethin' about the ponytail. It makes you look girlish."

"Think so?" Ranma asked as he passed the joint back to his father, who began hauling on it.

"Yes, Ranma. You should shhhhtyle it a little better. We can't have men lookin' like women around here," Genma exclaimed.

'Hmm...' Ranma thought to himself. Obviously the drugs were taking a toll, otherwise the boy would've been sure to put up a fight. 'I guess it can't do any harm.'

Genma passed the joint to Ryoga and took a sip of the strong alcohol. He rubbed his eyes, then gulped down his entire drink. The bald man then stared at his son.

"Ranma," he started, sounding as sober as possible, "We're leavin' on a training trip to China."

Ryoga choked and broke into a coughing fit as he heard the words. 'Training trip?' he thought.

"Why? When? Why?" asked a confused Ranma, thinking the same thing as the lost boy.

"I thinks you need to brush up yer skills, bein' heir to the School of Anythin'-Goes martial arts an' all," the old man answered, "An' what better time ta leave then tonight."

'Aw man.. this sucks!' Ryoga thought. 'I just became Ranma's friend a month ago.'

"Sure pops, it'd be nice to get away from that fat cop. But do ya mind if Ryobla-- err Ryoga comes? His dope is fuckin' awesome. and he doesn't have any family in the area. That's if he doesn't mind," Ranma said, looking towards the bandanna-clad boy and feeling somewhat drunk over his incredible weed buzz. Ryoga looked at Ranma and then to Genma, who was also staring back at him.

"Guess that's that. Do ya wanna?" the bald man asked.

"Uhm.. uhh... eh.. Yah!" Ryoga replied with an alcoholic's confidence.

"Then I dun care," Genma said to his son. Ryoga looked to his friend, who gave him a thumbs up. He took another long puff off the joint, feeling even happier despite his buzz.

Ranma reached behind his head and undid his ponytail, letting his hair fall freely, then walked into the bathroom. Ryoga watched him leave, then passed the joint back to Genma.

He took a long drag, then stared at the boy who was sitting across from him. "So, Ryoga, what'erve you ben up to lately?" he asked.

"Not to muchs, shir," the lost boy lisped, choking back a drug-enhanced laugh, "Same stuff. Runnin' from Fuku, gettin' high.."

"Heh, you jes' like sonny there. You two could be brothers 'n' stuff ya know."

"Yeah. I guess we could." said Ryoga, thinking about that. He wondered what it would be like to be Ranma's brother. Would it be fun? Not so fun? He stopped his thoughts so he could fully enjoy his weed and alcohol buzz. Suddenly out of nowhere, Genma leaned over to the side of his chair and puked. A large disgusting puddle sat on the floor as Ryoga stared. "...THAT WAS TRIPPY!" he exclaimed.

"Fuckin' Right!" Ranma cried from behind him, who wished he had stayed in the bathroom a little longer.

"Ugh.. shrooms an' beer don't mix... heheheh...haha.." Genma smirked as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Good thing we's leavin' tonight. I not feelin' up to cleanin' that."

Ranma sat down with his freshly made pigtail hanging limply to his back. "It's not beer plops. I mean pops. Think teh hair is aight?" he asked Ryoga.

"Yeah. It's cool", replied the lost and now drunk boy.

"Here, you two finish thish," Genma said, passing the doobie to Ranma. The old man then grabbed the larger bottle of Black Velvet, cracked it open and filled Ranma's, Ryoga's, and his own glass. "Cheers to China," he said.

"Cheers to China," the two boys replied in unison. The three chugged their drinks and slammed the glasses down. After Ranma smoked a satisfying amount of the joint, he passed it to Ryoga. As the other boy toked, Genma filled the three glasses again with more Black Velvet. Ryoga put out the now half-doob in an ashtray, and Genma raised his glass again. "Cheers to China!" he shouted drunkenly.

"Cheers to China!" the boys yelled back. The three once again chugged back their drinks, feeling the warm burning sensation all the way down. Ryoga came quite close to whorfing it all out after he was finished. Then Genma greedily took the bottle and chugged the rest of the contents. He grinned at the two teenagers, who were grinning back with their bloodshot red eyes beaming from the dim light.

"I guessh... we should shtart packin'," said an over-joyous Genma, careful not to let anymore of his precious dinner escape. He stood up, but before he could walk, he looked down to see his bare foot resting in his own spew. "Ahhh!! Damn, I shoulda cleaned-ed it."

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Officer Fuku sat in his undercover car, staring at the Saotome house and waiting. He had his trusty gun to his side, waiting to see if anyone would come out. He'd gladly crash through the door and cuff them if he had a warrant, but try as he might he couldn't get enough proof that they had drugs on them to get one. He'd get those two for humiliating him, and he'd get them good... he still remembered the day that they made him the laughingstock of the entire police force. It only happened two weeks ago...

_**FLASHBACK**_

It was a sunny day and Fuku was driving his cruiser downtown, looking for any trouble. The wind that blew through his opened window made his gruffy black mustache and somewhat long black hair flop around. His normally hardened and blank expression was instead one of happiness and pride. He grinned as he saw that the town he lived in was secure as usual, everyone playing it safe, and not a problem to be solved. Or so he thought...

His rookie partner sat in the passenger seat, keeping a good eye on the surroundings that blurred by. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small patch of grey fog. He turned his head and saw two young boys behind a post office, smoking something, obviously a fat joint, about the size of a ruler. The young man squinted his eyes, then turned to his partner.

"Hey Jerome," he called to the other man, "Aren't the-"

"I told you not to use my first name when you address me." The overweight officer's attitude had shifted dramatically. His eyes glimmered with an unknown passion; one that clearly stated that the troublesome kids were about to get their asses handed to them.

"Er.. sorry, 'Fuku', but aren't they the kids posted on the bulletin board at the station? You know, the two trouble makers, Ranma Saotome and Ryoga Hibiki?"

Fuku glaced at his partner, then slammed on the brakes. The two boys heard the skidding tires and immediately made a run for it. Upon seeing them get away, the officer turned the sirens and lights on then slammed his foot down on the gas pedal and gave chase. The boys ran to the left at the end of the block and leapt to a roof as they tried to get away from the persistant officer. Fuku stared in amazement at the energetic boys leaping from roof to roof and running at the same pace as his speeding cruiser, but that didn't stop him. He whirled the steering wheel to the left, the car swirved, and he remained in hot pursuit.

The two teens tried different routes, but he persistantly followed through the alleyways, parking lots, and busy streets to keep close. By the time they were out of town, it was a like a final race to see who would run out of gas first. He kept up with them the entire time.. Or rather, they kept up with the car's speed. Ten exhausting miles of running down the extremely long road, trying to ditch the police, the two boys lost their stamina and had to stop to catch their breath. The car quickly came to a halt behind them and the two cops jumped out.

"FREEZE!" Called the one that was in the passenger seat, revealing his gun as a warning. With shaky hands he pointed it at the somewhat larger boy with the yellow and black bandanna as anxiety set in.

"You two are under arrest!" the other man with the mustache called. He ran towards them with great speed, considering how large he was, and leapt at them. The two dodged off to either side and watched the officer tumble behind them. He jiggled and rolled a good 12 meters. Officer Fuku got back up to his feet and stared at them malevolently.

"Hah, I thought you.. had to be in 'good' shape.. to get in the po-lice force," the boy with the ponytail wisecracked between gasps for air. The other boy let out a loud drug-enhanced laugh at the comment.

Fuku stared daggers into the boy who just made the fat joke with determination plastered on his face. He started towards him, but to his dismay he tripped on a large chunk of rock that was sticking up in the middle of the road. He fell... and fell... and fell..., it seemed like he was in slow motion, until his face finally connected with the pavement. He screamed in pain as the cartilage in his nose was shredded.

The two stoners looked at him with slight sympathy, holding back the laughter that threatened to erupt at any second. The other police man rushed by them to his partner's side and helped him up, to see that there was blood gushing down his face and tears welling up in his eyes. The older man choked out a sob, and reached up to touch his nose. He delicately tapped it, then winced at the immense pain.

As his partner helped him back to the car, the larger man looked to see the two boys were out of sight. He stared at nothing as the tears and blood dripped off his face onto his uniform. That day was the end of his career as a 'respected' police officer.

_**END FLASHBACK**_

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

'And I thought of him as a friend,' Fuku thought to himself, 'Stupid kid.. went off and told the entire team. After that they all made fun of me, a thirty-eight year old man, tripping on a rock and breaking my nose... and crying to boot. I don't see why the chief assigned him as my partner in the first place...

'Oh yes Ranma Saotome.. Ryoga Hibiki.. you're both going to be in a world of shit when I'm done with you..' The dark haired man suddenly snapped out of his day dreaming when he heard the sound of a door opening and closing. He refocused his eyes and squinted them at the three figures that stumbled out of the house, two of which had backpacks on. One of the three fell while he reached to grab his binoculars from the dashboard, and he couldn't help but give a loathsome chuckle. Looking through the binoculars, he saw the troublesome twosome and Ranma's father. They were all obviously wrecked, giving the fact that they couldn't even stand up straight. He looked at the biggest man with the white gi and glasses for a minute. The expression on his face in the darkness was hard to make out, but it looked as though he was trying to remember something important. He remembered the old man looking directly at him through the window before shutting the blinds.

"Old fool.. not much of a memory," he told himself. He smiled wryly and watched in amusement as they finally made it onto the road.

When Ranma tumbled his way to the open road, his mushroom buzz kicked in at full blast and he tripped on his own foot, landing on the side of his head. He forgot where and who he was while he tried with great effort to stand to his feet. Panic and anxiety rushed through him as he tried eagerly to regain control. When he slightly regained some of his senses, he looked up and saw little stars dancing around his head like in the cartoons after someone had an anvil dropped on him. He burst out laughing and fell again, this time landing on his rear. He could hear his father and Ryoga laughing insanely from behind him, but his own laughter drowned out most of it. As he finally got to his feet, he felt his head pumping from the pain the he couldn't really feel. He looked at Ryoga, who was still laughing.

"Shaddup!" he managed to blurt out. A few odd shapes crossed his vision as the feeling of weed, shrooms, and alcohol intertwined inside of his system. He shook it off and looked back at Ryoga, who was clutching his gut and coughing from laughing so hard. Genma had stopped, but a priceless smile was still plastered on his face.

Ryoga's mushroom buzz had already kicked in a little when he first got outside, but he managed to keep it under control. That is, until Ranma fell. It looked like he fell through the ground, and now he was coughing from laughing. He tried to regain control, but then the grass on Ranma's lawn turned into the ocean and another wave of laughter washed over him.

"I've got the munchies hard," Genma said as his growling stomach agreed.

"Pops you're getted... no, you ARE the munchies allll the time," Ranma accused, making less and less sense. "All ya do is eat."

Ryoga finally got out of his coughing/laughing fit and caught his breath. He to was now feeling the full affects of the mushrooms. "Lets go to my spot. I'd got munchies there. And, and I needs to get my.. my uhh.. uhmm.. oh yeah, stash."

"Spot?" Ranma asked as he cocked an eyebrow upwards.

"I said house."

"No!! you didn't!"

"..Shut up.. up." he stammered. Suddenly Ryoga's attention was diverted from Ranma to the black car that stopped directly infront of him. Through his eyes, it looked like an octopus, and he started thinking he was going crazy.

The overweight cop jumped out and held his pistol out towards Ranma's torso. "You two are gonna pay for what you did to me," he stated calmly.

"Eh? What? What I do?" said the pigtailed boy in an off tone.

"As if you've forgotten already," the man said, twitching his mustache from side to side, "Because of you two, I have been humiliated for the past two weeks. Tripping me, a high authority officer like that, you should be ashamed."

"Umm.. Wha..?" Ranma asked with a puzzled expression. "When did I.. trip you?"

"Two weeks ago! You don't remember? When you made me trip and break my nose!?" shouted the angry police man.

"Whaaat? You the one dat tripped yourself! You're trippin'!"

"Do...d-d-donuts..? Hahaha!" Ryoga added, as he abruptly burst into another laughing fit.

"Come on son. Ignore 'im. We can outrun 'im. We are leavin' for China, right now," called Ranma's pop.

"Shut up! All of you!" Fuku cried, taking another step and raising the gun to eye-level. Ranma was tripping right out. On instinct from his sense of danger, he dropped his backpack and executed a roundhouse kick aimed for the gun. Instead, his foot connected with Fuku's forearm, which did the trick anyways. As the gun fell to the ground, and a single stray bullet was fired. It sounded like a loud clap of thunder. The wild bullet flew past Ranma and whizzed by Genma's head, barely nicking the tip of his ear. Everyone silenced, and the three druggies went into a complete paranoia trip for a second.

The older man's eyes widened in shock as his insane buzz overwhelmed him at the thought of nearly being killed. He reached up to feel his tender ear, and his finger touched a thick liquid that was lightly oozing from the cut. Genma then looked at his bloody finger, which suddenly turned into a bloody arm via very strong mushrooms, and rage began to build inside. The other three stared at his bright blue, unsynchronized battle aura that flickered into existance.

"YOU MORON!!" was his battlecry before he ran up to the cop and gave him a massive uppercut. The unexpecting officer soared through the sky as he yelped in pain.

After Genma caught his breath and forced down the vein that was popping out of his head, he glanced to the boys who were now on the ground laughing. Then he began to laugh to, realizing he had just pounded a cop into next friday. His attention turned to the black car that was still running. He smirked inwardly.

"Joyride?" he asked the two boys who were still on the ground.

**END chapter 1.**

Hope you like my twisted sense of humor.


	2. Joyride to Jusenkyo!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or the characters. All I own is a character I made up (Officer Fuku) and this story.

**Author Notes**: During this chapter, you will notice that one particular word is CAPITALIZED, **bolded**, underlined and_ italic_. This is not an error. For more information about just why this word is CAPITALIZED, **bolded**, underlined and_ italic_, please read the review posted by 'ashnjack'. For his information, what I'm smoking is the herb of life, hence why this story was born.

_Quick joke: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper. Ahahahaha!!!!_

_**The Brotherhood: Half Baked**_

**Chapter 2: Joyride to Jusenkyo!**

After getting into/stealing Fuku's undercover car Genma opened the glove compartment, and to his good fortune, there were a few bandaids. Carefully, Genma applied one to his slightly bleeding ear. Somehow, the bandaid ended up on the side of his chin, as apparently that's where the buzz told him his minor injury was. The old man then turned the key. The car started up, and he revved it a little. Ranma and Ryoga, after recovering from laughing at the recent events, crawled very slowly to the car. Ranma jumped into the passenger seat, and Ryoga hopped into the middle of the backseat.

"Haha.. Say, plops. I mean ehh.. Pops. Ya know how ta drive 'n' stuff... right?" Ranma asked.

"Of course I do," Genma lied. He had only driven once, and it was a very unpleasant experience. But he knew what to do at least. The old man shifted into first gear and started to drive slowly. Whilst the other two boys laughed at odd shapes and illusions that fluttered in their vision, Genma swirved from the far right to the far left ends of the road drunkenly. He continued to do that down the whole street. Thank the gods it was so late.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Fuku soared high through the air, cursing the man in the white gi. That was way too close though.. he almost killed someone by accident. He would of been in big shit then. So would the entire police force. After all.. this was the ONLY town in Japan that legalized guns. However, they were only allowed to be used as warnings or threats, which they did a very good job at. Any deaths or serious injuries would result in a huge punishment. If he actually killed that man, he'd more then likely be sentenced to death himself. Or at least a life time in prison, if he was lucky.

Fuku began to think about the 'disorientated' conversation they were having. He thought about what the eldest man had said.

'Come on son. Ignore 'im. We can outrun him. We are leavin' for China, right now.'

Well, at least he knew for sure it was Ranma's father. His thoughts drifted to the latter part of the sentence. 'China, huh? Well isn't that nice to know.'

His thoughts ended when he realized that he was now falling. He calculated where he would land.. right on the police station. He braced himself, preparing for a very painful experience.

SMASH, CRASH, THUD

The poor guy fell on his butt through two stories, then landed perfectly in a chair, which amazingly took no damage.

"OWWW!" Fuku cried through clenched teeth, "Shouldn't of landed on my ass!" After struggling through the pain, the cop observed his surroundings. His eyes were already used to the dark, so he knew he was in the Police Chief's office. Fuku tried to sit up, but dizziness washed over him like a tidal wave. He sat back down, slumped his head forward, and let himself drift into unconciousness.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Genma absently turned right at the end of the road, not quite sure which way he should be going. "Ryoga, where house?" he wondered out loud.

"N-not know," Ryoga stammered, laughing at the passing scenery.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! He can't sense directions!!" Ranma blurted out. That statement put the stoners into a huge laughing fit as car swirved left and right more swiftly, making them slump to either side.

"There!!" Ryoga said, pointing up ahead to his house.. which seemed to be burning and ashing like a cigarette under the street light. He laughed insanely.

"What? There?" Genma questioned, looking for something funny.

"My house!"

"Ohhhh!!!" the bald man acknowledged. He turned at full force towards the house and knocked over Ryoga's mailbox, then slammed on the breaks just before he hit the lost boy's house. After the nearly psychotic laughter died down, the three just sat there.

"Well?" Ranma asked, looking at Ryoga.

"What?" the lost boy asked.

"Get stuff."

"You get."

"Your house!!" Ranma growled.

"I'M LOST!!" Ryoga retorted. Ranma laughed. Despite the one/two word sentences, they all understood eachother as though they were using highly complex sentence structures. Just another effect of the intense mushrooms Ranma had.

The pigtailed drugged up martial artist opened the car door, then rolled out. He crawled to the door to Ryoga's house, or as Ryoga would say, 'spot'. Ranma stood up and fell forwards because of the alcohol, and smacked right into the door. Roaring laughter erupted from the car. Ranma collected himself, then opened the door and stumbled in. He turned on the light and what he saw tripped him right out. Bright yellow arrows pointing all over the place to various rooms which had small labels over the doors. The yellow color of the arrows started changing purple, blue, red, green and every color in between, then they looked like they were spinning in circles. It made him feel a little sick, but now he understood why Ryoga was so lost all the time.

He found that fact terribly funny and started howling with laughter. Ranma then collapsed back to his hands and knees and started crawling into the living room, where he saw a backpack with an umbrella strapped to it. When he reached it, he opened it to see a shit load of bags full of the hydro weed they were smoking before, and a small tent. With a bit of difficulty he slung it over his back, then slowly made his way back to the door. When he got to it, he turned around to see the color changing arrows still spinning. Ignoring them, he continued back to the car, got back in his seat, then handed Ryoga the backpack.

"Trippy house." Ranma muttered. There was no reply. After a few minutes of silence, a loud snore thundered beside him. His father had passed out. The pigtailed boy groaned, but figured he might as well let him sleep. Likely a judgement made by the buzz.

Ryoga at the time was staring out the window at the sky, oblivious to Ranma's entrance. The stars jumped all over the sky, and finally it became very clear to him just how people found constellations all those years ago. He was literally in another world, discovering the meaning of life, until he heard a loud snore.

"Sleep time," Ranma mumbled to himself. Then he, just like his father, passed out and started snoring.

'Might as well,' Ryoga thought. He made like Ranma and went to sleep.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

The next morning, Fuku was greeted by a 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY OFFICE?!' by the Chief. He stirred awake, then wished he was anywhere else in the world.

"Uhh.. C-Chief.." he stammered.

"Why are you here?! Why is there a big hole in my ceiling?!" the Chief barked. Then he got a murderous look in his eyes, "AND WHY DID I GET CALLED SEVERAL TIMES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKIN' NIGHT ABOUT A GUN BEING FIRED?!?! You best have answers!!!"

"...It was all those kids' faults!!" Fuku answered sharply. The other man got a hollow look in his eyes.

"You're STILL going on about those kids?!" he hollered at the officer. "STILL?!"

"L-let me explain, sir!" the mustached man pleaded. The Chief took his seat and literally stared into Fuku's soul. It gave him the chills when he did that.

"Well, I'll start with the gunshot," Fuku started, collecting himself, "You see, the Saotome's and the Hibiki boy were drunk and on drugs.. fungus or LSD would best describe the symptoms. They got to the road and--"

"Get to the point!" the Police Chief interjected.

"Y-yes sir," the officer replied, trying desperately to keep his composure, "I held my gun out as a warning, and that Saotome boy kicked my arm. I dropped the gun, and a stray bullet was fired. No one was hurt seriously, I can assure you."

"Hurt 'seriously'?!" the man across from him said in the coldest, deadliest, most evil tone Fuku had ever heard.

"Ranma Saotome's father was nicked in the ear by the bullet, but nothing a band aid couldn't fix. Which brings me to why I am here," Fuku continued, as the Chief was looking intently at his eyes. His years of training would easily let him know if he was lying or not, and so far, the officer in front of him was being honest. "The father then punched me with such great force, I thought I was going to die. I flew through the air, landed right in this chair, then passed out."

The Chief stared in utter disbelief.. but he KNEW that Fuku wasn't lying. There were no symptoms of lies. No passive studdering. No dialating pupils. Nothing. He also knew that the two boys could easily be two of the most dangerous people in Japan, even if he didn't have any proof of them doing anything harmful. He had gotten reports about them, even pictures of the little stoners leaping on to buildings. And now there was another one of them.

Even so.. it was awfully ironic that he landed in the chair in front of his desk. He wanted to see Fuku this morning for this reason anyways.

"Are you certain it was Ranma's father? And not some other old guy?" he asked.

"He said so himself, sir," replied Fuku sheepishly.

"Do you have any other... information about them?"

"I do. They've left for China."

The chief sighed and pushed both of his palms against his forehead. What a dilemma this was turning out to be. He had no idea why they were going to China, but based on the boys' drug history, it was quite possible that the father was a major part of the smuggling system. Silence filled the room while the chief mourned over the situation and what options he had to prevent anything major happening.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Ranma stirred in his sleep. He was having another nightmare about the Nekoken training his father had sentenced him to. He snapped awake, with cold sweat pouring off him like bullets. Then, the hangover. A giant migraine, a head rush and nausea. He groaned, then decked his father across the head for throwing him in a pit of starving cats.

"Huh? What? OWWW!!" Genma cried, holding his head.

"SHUT UP IT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR SCREAMING IN MY EAAAR!!" Ryoga screamed from the back.

"YOU shut up!" Ranma yelled, plugging his own ears. His head felt like it was splitting apart, and the fall on the road he had taken last night left a very painful bump on his head to add to it.

"Nngh.." Genma muttered, clamping his eyes shut. "Lets just.. wait for it to pass.." And with that the three rested, each holding their heads and waiting for the hell to end.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"Permission to go after them, sir!" Fuku shouted, standing up. His behind and lower back ached badly, he definitely should have remained seated._ '_OWWWW OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!' he screamed in his mind, being careful not to ruin this opportunity to go after them.

"It's clear that these three are dangerous," the Chief said calmly. "But.. China is a big place."

"I'll find them!" Fuku said confidently. "I'll go to the end of the Earth if I have to!"

The old man sighed. This was his only option? To send this man, who had been made a laughing stock by the very criminals he was trying to pursue ? He groaned and let another deep sigh. "Very well, permission is granted. However, I must have your firearms. And I am also assigning a partner to you."

The officer happily gave his two spare pistols to the Chief. "Thank you very much sir. So who will be my partner?" he asked as he watched the other man sort through some folders.

"Yamato Temenski," he replied, "he needs experience, and despite your 'incident' with him, your still one of the best in the force."

'NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!' Fuku thought to himself in horror as his eyes glazed over, 'NOT HIM AGAIN! WHY HIM?! WHYYY?!'

"Umm.. Why him??!" asked Fuku, pulling himself out of his trance.

"I told you. He is a rookie and needs the experience, and you've had him as a partner before," he responded, using every ounce of his will power to keep from cracking even a hint of a smirk. Even for the chief, what had happened was a hilarious matter that still gave him chuckles.

"What? You WANT me to get humiliated again??!"

"Do not raise your voice to me," the Chief commanded, glaring at him, "You will take him along and teach him, or you will not pursue them."

"Y-yes sir. I apologize."

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

After the hangovers had passed, the three ate breakfast in Ryoga's house, then smoked a fat cannon joint that contained Ryoga's hydro. When the three got back into the car, Ranma remembered something important.

"Hey!! It's my birthday today!" he shouted.

"Oh yeah," Genma mumbled, "Good thing I remembered it was coming up last week." He grabbed his backpack off the floor of the back seat, unzipped the side pocket and reached in. The man then pulled out a CD and presented it to Ranma. It was labelled 'Hellbilly Deluxe'. "It's a Rob Zombie music CD. It's normally only found in America, but I.. 'found'.. a translated version," Genma said, grinning inwardly.

"Wow pops, thanks! You're now forgiven for forgetting my last birthday," Ranma said with a hearty smile.

"That's only half of it," the bald man said, starting the car.

"Oh..?" Ranma muttered. Genma just smirked. He pulled out of Ryoga's lawn, where the car was initially parked, and started driving. The ride was much smoother now that Genma wasn't drunk or on shrooms, but it still felt a little... unsafe. He pulled up next to a house, made sure he had his backpack.

"Be right back," the old man told them, then he walked inside.

"I wonder what he's doin'," Ryoga said from the back.

Five minutes later the door opened, and a massive amount of smoke spilled through the doorway. Genma stumbled out, closed the door behind him, inhaled some fresh air and got back in the car. Ranma stared at him. Ryoga enjoyed the heavy marijuana scented aroma that was pouring off of his clothes.

Genma reached into his backpack, then pulled out grams upon grams of dried shrooms. He counted each, and by the time he reached forty (which was actually fifty-seven to Ranma's count), he put them all into Ranma's backpack.

"Have fun with that, you two. But don over don't it," he muttered while smirking.

"..Thanks pops! You're now forgiven for forgetting my birthday before the last one too!" Ranma said in joy. Never had his father been this generous in one day. 'Oh well,' Ranma thought, 'This is wicked sick!'

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

They had driven a long ways. _**FIVE**_ days had passed, and they were deep in China. The only stops that were made were for sleep, bathroom breaks, gas, stealing a meal at a restaraunt, dojo battles, or if Genma spotted someone he knew (which there were many) and made some money from selling drugs. No accidents had occured, despite Genma's heavy-130-miles-per-hour-foot. The car sure could fly. All was well, the three had managed to avoid the shrooms and bottle of Jack Daniels in Genma's backpack. The only thing they did was smoke weed and hotbox the car for now. It was all good until...

"Lets pop some mush," Genma suggested, "It's only ben four days, but hell."

"And watch ya swirve all over like before?" Ranma mumbled.

"I only did that because I was drunk," he admitted, "I've had a lot more experiences wit' mushrooms then you have son. I'm used to the effects. I'll only take half a gram, if it'll make ya feel better."

"Okay, okay," Ranma said. Genma turned onto the back roads as Ranma handed him a half a gram. The pigtailed boy then took out six grams for Ryoga and himself to split. As he handed Ryoga three grams, Genma quickly snatched a few more grams out of his own backpack, then munched down. The other two boys put one gram in their mouths at a time. The three druggies sulked at the dirt-like taste, but got every bit down. As they waited patiently for the new buzz to kick in, a truck pulled infront of them. There was a dog chained in the back of it. It barked a few times at the black car following it.

As they drove, the clouds became darker and darker. Thunder boomed in the far distance, just barely reaching their ears. "By the way," said Genma, "That dealer said those mushrooms were extremely potent. He said only to take one gram at a time."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT EARLIER?!" both of the boys yelled.

"For your experience, of course."

Ranma smacked his head in exasperation. Of course there would be a stupid answer from his father.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Forty minutes later, when the mushroom high kicked into all of them, everything was going good. They were enjoying the laughs, talking in tiny sentences, and having a great time. Genma had lost a bit of skill in his driving, because he started swirving slightly, and almost hit the truck that was still in front of them a few times. Every time the dog barked, they would laugh loudly.

Ranma then got a 'bright' idea and put his new CD in the CD player that the car fortunately had. He cranked the volume, then pressed play. The music was LOUD, and the three stoners laughed like hyenas. Genma swirved back, forth, left, right, possibly upwards and downwards. The music had them going crazy, seeing all sorts of weird stuff. To Ryoga, who was the less experienced one with shrooms, everything melted, reformed, then melted again. The truck infront of them was now leaving a trail that passed right through his own car. The road turned orange, and the birds turned into fish. Hearing himself laugh made him laugh harder, and he was starting to hear everything as a metallic echo.

Ranma was enjoying himself to, the swirves that his father executed made him see everything in a bubbling blur. It was nuts!!! The dark clouds were pulsating in the sky. The heavy metal music was overwhelming. Apparently his dad thought so too, because he was trying eagerly to retain the gruffy laughs that sneaked out. He was trying to concentrate on the road, but wasn't succeeding well.

Then it started raining and all hell broke loose. Through all three of their eyes, every drop that hit the windshield was like a rippling blotch of color changing paint, and the windshield redefined itself into melting ice. The three of them could make out every single rain drop from almost a mile away by the odd colors they emitted. The three burst out into a roaring, completely ignorant of the situation laughter and the car skidded, swirving everywhere. Genma turned on the windshield wipers on and regained slight control. Suddenly a lightning bolt flashed across the sky, making a loud clap of thunder that blared over the loud music. Genma once again lost any control he had, speeding all over the road. He twisted and turned the steering wheel rapidly to the left and right. They wanted to scream, but they were laughing to hard.

Ranma was pounding on his leg from laughing. He was scared, no, TERRIFIED, but he couldn't stop laughing. Ryoga was on the same boat, exept he was jumping up and down in the middle of the back seat from laughing so hard. They swirved from left... to right.. to left again. It was crazy! After a few minutes of the madness Genma once again regained slight control, and he focused. Way ahead of him, through the color blotches, he could see the truck. 'If i just follow.. I'll be good.' he tried to think. It was so hard. He sped up as Ranma smartly took the CD out of the CD player and tried with great effort to get it back in the case. After fumbling with it a few times, the pigtailed boy finally managed to get it in the hole(LOL).

Now that the music stopped, Genma was getting more control. He tried to focus on the blueish purple jumping truck and the wet holy dog that were glowing about twenty meters ahead, and not the colorful blotches of rain. He was still swirving a bit, but not nearly as violently. The other two boys then finally started to calm down a little. Finally, they were regaining control.. then...

A very bright flash of light. A lightning bolt struck down on the antannae of the truck, and a VERY loud clap of thunder crashed through the air. The dog turned into a skeletal version of itself with bits of flesh hanging, and the truck crashed into a ditch.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" they all screamed in unison, as a large amount of panic and anxiety set into their heads. Genma accidently floored the gas pedal, and everything happened all over again. The car started swirving left and right at high speeds, and laughter started once again.

Ryoga freaked out and he had a bad trip, seeing Genma's eyes in the rear view mirror literally turn into noses. He backed into the car door and stared out the window, pretending nothing happened. Another flash of lightning forked it's way through the sky, and he started giggling again.

Genma absent-mindedly banged his head on the steering wheel, and the horn honked. Everyone laughed harder. Ranma rolled the window down and puked out the side. Ryoga saw the chunky liquid hit the window beside him and it turned into acid, sizzling outside of the window. He laughed so hard that he too let his lunch fly, at the same window.

Suddenly, Genma remembered what to do in this type of situation. He let go of the steering wheel, moved his foot from the gas pedal to the brake pedal and smashed his foot into it as hard as he could. The tires screeched, and the car abruptly stopped in a ditch. The momentum of the sudden stop made all three of them fly forward. Genma and Ranma's faces hit the windshield, whilst Ryoga's head banged into the back of Ranma's seat. After ten minutes of laughing and choking, all three of them finally got under control.

Ryoga was the first to speak. "...THAT WAS TRIPPY!!!" he exclaimed.

"Fuckin' right!" Ranma cried.

"Whooa.." Genma mumbled, his head was spinning. 'That was fucked up!' he yelled mentally.

"This CD fuckn' WICKED SICK!!" Ranma babbled, staring at the Rob Zombie CD case. No matter how hard he tried to talk like a normal person on mushrooms, he simply could not. When the pigtailed boy turned and looked through his window, he thought he saw a dead, bloody horse flying across the sky through all of the colored rain droplets. He gaped at it in semi-fascination as it hovered out of sight.

"WWHOOOAAA!" he yelled.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Fuku and his partner Yamato were just entering China. But they didn't know where to begin. They were now unarmed and only had a club each and handcuffs. As they zoomed by in the white caparice, they admired the sights. Not to far from the border, both of their eyes set upon an old man who was smoking a joint.

"Let me handle this," Fuku said. The cop car stopped and the overweight man was immediately out and in the stoner's face. The other man tried to run but Fuku grabbed him and pushed him against a wall.

"P-p-please officer.. d-don't arrest me, I-I have a w-wife and kids.." he stammered in Chinese, trying to squirm out of the other man's strong grip.

Fuku recognized the foreign language and switched to it. "Have you seen an old bald man in a black car go by?" he asked. He knew full well that they took the car. When he passed the Saotome house, there were tire marks that led all over the road from the Saotome house to the Hibiki boy's house. A knocked over mailbox, and skid marks in the lawn. They had definitely been there.

"You mean Saotome?" the old man asked. "Oops.. aw shit."

"Yes.. YES!! Do you know where they are??" asked Fuku with hope-filled eyes.

"Uhh.. uhm.... No," the man replied dumbly.

Fuku knew he was lying. "I'll make you a deal. You tell me where they went, and I'll let you go free," he bribed.

"Re.. Really??" the other man asked in disbelief.

"Of course. I cannot lie to you in uniform."

"He said he was going to some 'cursed training ground'.. a place called Jusenkyo," he ratted in relief, "You'll find it in a map.. next to uhh.. Nyuchezuu the Joketsuzoku tribe... or somethin.."

Fuku kept his word, leaving the shaky man behind. He got in the car, looked at the map, then a malicious grin spread across his face. 'I've got you both now..'

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Meanwhile, the three 'trouble makers' were enjoying tripping out at the rain, and especially the lightning that would occasionally strike the ground. Genma told them that he'd wait until the rain died down before he would try driving again. About 20 minutes later, the rain came to a halt.

Genma turned the key. Nothing happened. He tried again, and it tried to start but immediately died. He looked to the gas guage.

"Damn.. no gas!" he spat. "Looks like we go by foot."

With that the three grabbed their stuff stumbled out of the car. The scent was refreshing. Although the groud was colored by the rain, they remained silent. Genma looked off in the distance and saw bamboo poles sticking out of the ground. That meant that... they were already there!

"We're.. We're here!" Genma shouted.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Fuku floored the gas pedal as his partner navigated for him. They had travelled quite a distance, and Yamato calculated that the would arrive at Jusenkyo in about 3 hours at the speed the were going. They were driving down a narrow dirt road when something came to Fuku's attention.

A dojo. It read 'School of Martial Arts Police Acedemy Training.' Fuku pulled in the driveway and stepped out. Yamato didn't know what he was up to, but he followed his 'teacher' anyway. He ran to the door and knocked on it, and a man that must've been in his late 40's answered.

"Yes?" he asked in Chinese.

"My assistant and I would like to train in the School of Martial Arts Police Training as your disciples," he begged. The older man regarded his figure and frowned. Fuku noticed the frown. "You name the price, and I'll see that you get it." That sure made the matriach smile.

"Very well. I'll teach you everything I know for a... decent price."

"Do we really have time for this?" Fuku's traitorous sidekick inquired.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing kid."

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Ranma, Ryoga, and Genma, after tumbling and falling at least fifty times due to the invisible 'holes', finally stumbled their way to the cursed springs of Jusenkyo. The Jusenkyo Guide looked up at them, a little shocked. He eyed them carefully. He noted that they were definitely Japanese.

"You all here to train at Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo?" the guide asked in bad Japanese.

"Uhh.. Yeah," Genma replied. He saw the various danger signs that were plastered around. He could read Chinese, he took lessons in exchange for drugs once. The only problem was he couldn't read because he was to fucked up from the mushrooms.

"Come, son, Ryoga, lets train." Ryoga unsheathed his umbrella, then the three dropped their backpacks and leapt up onto the bamboo poles that erupted from the spring. Each one took a different fighting stance. It sure was hard to keep balance with a buzz.

"Aiya! What you doing? Is very dangerous!" the guide cried out.

But they ignored him. Genma sprung towards Ranma, who did the same. After trading a few blows, they both landed on eachother's bamboo sticks. Ryoga took the opporotunity to attack Ranma's father. He leapt in the air, and flew downwards at Genma in a flying side kick. Genma barely managed to jump away, allowing Ryoga to land safely on his bamboo stick.

Ranma jumped at Genma, who was still in mid air, and landed two punches to his gut. Genma began to fall, but luckily grabbed onto one of the bamboo sticks.

As Ranma's attention was diverted to his father, Ryoga grabbed a few bandannas and threw them at Ranma's pole. The first two missed, but the third one sliced through it. Ranma looked down, and just in the nick of time hopped off to another bamboo stick. The Jusenkyo Guide watched the three martial artists in amazement.

By this time, Genma reached the top of his bamboo pole, and lunged for Ryoga. The bandanna-clad boy saw it coming a mile away. He pivoted, then smashed Genma in the shoulder with his umbrella. As Genma fell hopelessly towards the spring below him, Ranma and Ryoga leapt across the poles, trading kicks and punches. When a loud splash was heard, they both diverted their attention to where Genma had fallen.

'Stupid Pops,' Ranma thought as a few colors changed, 'He's gettin' sloppy.' A panda jumped out of the spring where Genma had fallen, and landed on one of the poles. "RAWR RAWR RAWR!!" the panda growled. If there was a panda to human translator, it would have said 'You idiot! My buzz is gone!!'

Ranma and Ryoga tripped out. While Ranma fought to keep his balance, Ryoga slipped and plummeted. Then the Guide spoke up.

"Aiya! You fall into Shonmaoniichuan!" the guide yelled, holding up a sign, "Is very tragic legend of panda what drown in spring 2000 year ago. Is very cursed spring."

Just then Ryoga fell into another spring. He resurfaced as a small black piglet.

"Aiya! You fall into Heituenniichuan!" the guide yelled, holding up a different sign, "Is very tragic legend of young black piglet what drown in spring 1200 year ago. Is very cursed spring."

Genma looked at his hands. They were large paws. He was furious, and leapt at a very spaced-out Ranma, who was starting to think he was hallucinating from the shrooms. Ranma's eyes caught movement from the side, and he turned, only for his face to meet a very large paw. He spun through the air towards his fate...

SPLASH

As Ranma resurfaced, the guide held out yet another sign. "You fall into Nyannichuan! Is very tragic story of young girl what drown in spring 1500 year ago. Whoever fall in spring take body of girl!"

Ranma was astonished to say the least.. but a bit upset that his buzz had disappeared. He, now a she, looked down and saw his chest... busting. Ranma-chan's eyes widened and she reached into her pants, touching an unfamiliar mound. After a few awkward moments, she screamed at the top of her lungs.

**END chapter 2.**

Just to clear things up a bit, this is not a yaoi fic, nope. Hope your enjoying it.


	3. To the Tendos! Drugs Disallowed?

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or the characters. All I own is a character I made up (Officer Fuku) and this story.

_Quick Joke: What happened to the China-man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his nose. HAHAHA!!! _

_**The Brotherhood: Half Baked**_

**Chapter 3: To the Tendos'! Drugs Disallowed?!**

Four months. Four long months of getting used to these curses. Four painfully long months of walking around as lost as Ryoga. Of course, two of those months were spent trying to find the lost boy who mysteriously 'disappeared'. He really had no sense of direction at all. Trying to find him was like trying to find a needle in one of ten thousand haystacks, which is of course impossible. Luckily he found us. The travels we endured were harsh to say the least, especially the incident that occured at the Joketsuzoku Tribe. That really sucked. From there we were chased around by some maniac chick until we fled China and went back to Japan. Now we are in a ghetto-like area, where cops rarely patrol the streets. Stupid pigs.

Ranma discontinued his thoughts when it started raining. 'Ugh, great,' he thought. He felt the now familiar tingly sensation of changing into his girl form and groaned. She was waiting for her father to finish up with a deal he was making, because they ran out of weed a few days ago and the shrooms were getting way too intense. The pigtailed girl sighed and turned to pick up a certain black piglet, but to her dismay, Ryoga stood there with his umbrella in hand.

"That ain't fair!" she barked at him jealously.

"What? Just because I have an umbrella and you don't, you don't gotta get all jealous!" Ryoga snapped.

"I'm not jealous!" Ranma-chan shot back while kicking the lost boy's umbrella out of his hands. A split second later, he was a little black piglet under a pile of clothes, squealing angrily. Ranma smirked, satisfied with her work, and put all of Ryoga's clothes in her backpack. She stole his umbrella and hummed a tune from Rob Zombie.

After some intense bweeing, Ryoga was about to lunge at Ranma-chan when Genma stepped out of the house, changing into a giant panda.

The old man stared at the girl and the pig, then grinned a massive grin. He opened the backpack he was holding and showed the contents to the two. They both smiled brightly at the sight of weed, mushrooms, some hash and the still unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. It was like staring into a treasure chest full of gold and jewels. Oh yes, today would be fun.

Ranma-chan picked up the black piglet, and they strolled down the street. The three came across a shelter in an old, abandoned house and decided to stay there until the rain died down. They entered and sat on the creeking floor. Genma-panda started rolling up a huge four by four joint. He only had three papers left afterwards, but he decided it would be worth sixteen of them right now. After carefully sealing all of the papers together, he sprinkled a huge amount of weed on top of them. Ranma-chan and the lost piglet stared in awe as Genma shaped the joint, rolled it up and sealed it. It was huge, as long as a ruler and as wide as a can of soda. It looked kind of pregnant though, because Genma couldn't roll as well when he was a panda.

After rolling the cannon joint, Genma decided not to put a filter in it because it would be to much trouble. He clinched the ends up to a point, and handed the joint to Ranma-chan to spark it up. She did so, and took a massive puff. When she inhaled, she coughed wildly. Her lungs weren't as used to the weed when she was a girl, so it really tickled inside. After taking a smaller toke, she handed the joint to the panda and blew the smoke at Ryoga. The little pig inhaled a little bit and choked out some bwees.

As Genma toked, he smirked inwardly. When he was a panda, his weed buzz was enhanced a lot. It was like starting drugs all over again. He figured it must be the same with the other two as well, because they acted as messed up as he did when they were cursed and stoned at the same time. He blew the smoke at the piglet, and again it coughed as it inhaled the thick smokey fumes.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Fuku was pissed, royally pissed. He had threatened a few more druggies into telling him where the trouble makers went, including the Jusenkyo Guide, and now he learned that they were back in Japan. What a waste of time!

He stood beside his cruiser and became more frustrated. He really wanted to use his new Martial Arts Police Academy training against the two teens and that old man, to show them who was boss. "Those FUCKERS!!!" he screamed, pounding his fist into the road. It cracked open several meters away.

"Calm down," said Yamato, who was leaning against the cruiser, "we'll find them. You can't get all worked up about it now."

Fuku tried desperately to force the anger down. "You're.. You're right. We might as well continue the hunt." He turned around, tilting his head to either side to pop the bones in his neck. "I'll get those little bastards if it takes me my whole life."

Yamato gave him a disapproving look after they both got back into the cop car. He wanted to tell Fuku how crazy and stupid he was acting over all of this, but he remained silent for his own reasons. After Fuku turned the key, the two sped away in the cruiser.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Soun Tendo stared intently at the postcard he had just received. No, there was no doubt about it, this was definitely his best friend's, Saotome's, writing. The sloppy, barely legible writing said:

'Deer Tendo, it's your old budy Genma Saotome. Me and my my my boy just finished a extremly long training trip, and are on our wey to your dojo. I hope your dauters are doing well. By the wey, have you told them of our engajement plans? I'm shure they will be happy to kno that Ranma is a very well manered, helthy young man. Until we meet, Tendo.'

Yup, definitely Saotome. No one else would ever spell way 'wey', or put three my's in a row without noticing. Tears of joy poured down the old man's face. He rushed back inside to call his daughters at once.

"Kasumi! Nabiki! ...Akane!" he shouted. When none of them came, he hunted them all down and the three sat at the dining table, wondering why their father looked so happy.

"What's this all about, daddy?" inquired Nabiki, the middle Tendo daughter.

"My daughters," Soun started, trying his best not to wail, "Today, one of you will get a fiance."

"Fiance?!" the three girls chorused in unison. (Then they had the conversation that they had in the anime, I'm kinda too stoned right now to repeat it.)

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

The rain had died down, and the three stoners were back on the road. Ranma stumbled back and forth on the road while he hauled on one of Genma's cigarettes and inhaled. Her eyes were crimson red, and her pupils were dialated to the point where her blue eyes were almost pure black. She giggled out a drug-enhanced laugh and faltered into her father before continuing down the road.

Ranma-chan decided that travelling long distances wasn't so bad when you were doped the fuck out of your mind. In his girl form, weed was so much more potent. They had several chances to use hot water, but decided against it, exept for Ryoga who couldn't handle the intense buzz in his pig form. They learned that when they changed, their high would disappear. Until they changed back, that is. Just like the time at the Joketsuzoku Tribe when they all changed back to their normal selves, and their shroom buzz kicked in twice as powerful as it was before. What a horrid day that was, especially for Ryoga.

Once again her thoughts were interupted, this time by her panda-father's 'Growf'. The large black and white beast held up a sign. It read [We're here]. Ranma-chan saw a wooden sign on a large wall, it read 'Tendo School of Indiscriminate Grappling'.

"What's this place? A dojo?" Ryoga asked.

Genma held up a sign. [Weren't you lissening to my story?]

"No," both Ranma-chan and the lost boy said.

[WHY WEREN'T YOU LISSENING!] another sign read.

"Ya can't talk ya moron!" Ranma-chan countered. Genma widened his eyes in realization when he remembered he was a panda. He slumped his head forward and held up another sign. [Ranma, you are engajed,] then another sign, [and your fiancay is incide this house.]

"At least learn ta spell ya jerk," Ranma-chan mumbled. The panda growled at the girl, but then quickly ushered her through the gate towards the Tendo residence. Ryoga followed from behind. "HEY! I never approved of this 'engagement'!" the stoner martial artist growled.

Genma ignored his son, currently daughter, and shoved him to the door, then knocked seven times in a kind of tune. They heard a voice from inside.

"THATS SAOTOME'S KNOCK!" said a familiar voice, to Genma anyways. Almost immediately the door shot open to reveal a man with long black hair and a girl with short brown hair. The panda took one step forward and the two Tendos zoomed back down the hall as quickly as they arrived.

Ranma started to turn around to leave from the embarrassment of the situation, but her father picked her up and slung her over his shoulder, then started down the hall. Ryoga again followed from behind. They took their place in front of the Tendos, where the panda set Ranma-chan down and the fanged boy walked up beside her.

"Daddy.. are these friends of yours?" the short haired girl asked in a state of shock. The father shook his head rapidly. "Then what is a panda doing here?!" He just shook his head harder.

After almost a minute, Soun regained his composure. He looked at Ranma-chan, then to Ryoga. He pointed at the lost boy. "Are you... Ranma Saotome?" he wondered out loud. The boy shook his head and pointed to the girl beside him, who was swaying back and forth, tranced out in her buzz.

"That's Ranma," he said.

"Yeah, I'm Ranma Saotome.. sorry 'bout this," she concluded.

"RANMA!! HOW I'VE LONGED TO SEE YOU!!!" Soun yelped loudly as he grabbed the girl in a tight bear hug. The girl jumped slightly, startled by the man's actions, and her pigtail shot straight up in the air. As Soun hugged her, he felt two large mounds pressing into his stomach. He squeezed her lightly a few times, and recognized what they were. The old man grabbed her by the shoulders, pushed her back a little and turned to Ryoga. "Err.. are you sure you're not Ranma?"

"I'm Ryoga Hibiki," the lost boy responded. Soun turned back to the red head in utter shock, then Nabiki looked down at the girls chest, noticing it for the first time. She prodded one of her breasts gently with a finger.

"She's one hundred percent female, daddy," the girl said, annoyance and disappointment apparent in her voice.

"Uhh, could you.. not do that?" asked Ranma-chan, feeling very awkward. The panda from behind just laughed at her. Soun was in a renewed state of shock, as he passed out on the floor.

After the six people introduced themselves, they gathered around an unconcious Soun, who was now on a futon with a warm cloth in his forehead. Akane glared at Ryoga, not liking the presence of a boy in the house. Soun stirred in his slumber, and his eyes cracked open against the bright day light.

"Oh, father! You've awakened!" Kasumi said, her voice as pleasant as always.

"What's the meaning of this, daddy?" Nabiki asked, "If he isn't Ranma," she said, pointing to Ryoga, "then how can 'she' be?" Ranma winced when the short haired girl said 'she'.

"Saotome said he was blessed with a boy," Soun mumbled, dumbfounded about the whole situation.

"Does this look like a boy to you?!" Nabiki complained, grabbing Ranma-chan's chest. The red head blushed furiously.

"C-could you please stop doing that?" she stammered.

"Yeah sis," Akane butted in, "A guest is a guest right?" Nabiki sighed and withdrew her hand. Akane turned and looked into Ranma's eyes. "Greetings, I'm Akane," she said with a happy nod. "Wanna be friends?"

Ranma didn't know what feeling it was that sparked up inside of her, but she liked it. At first she thought it was friendship, but she didn't feel that way around Ryoga. She decided to ignore it for now, and just nod, because the weed was enhancing her feelings too much.

"Great!" the raven haired girl chirped, "Wanna see our dojo?" Ranma once again nodded, and they took off towards the dojo, leaving Ryoga and Genma behind. Then the panda left to look for the bathroom to change back to his normal self, leaving Ryoga behind with the three remaining Tendos.

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes, then Kasumi turned to the lost boy. "Oh my! Where are my manners? Would you like some tea?" she asked with a radiant smile.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"You study Kenpo, right?"

"Yeah," Ranma-chan replied as she entered the dojo, "a little."

"Wanna have a match?" the other girl asked him, "For fun I mean."

"Uhh.. okay," Ranma returned with a smirk. She stood ready as Akane took a fighting stance.

"Okay.. Ready, GO!" she yelled as she threw a right hook. Ranma ducked under it with ease, and propped back up. Akane threw another two punches, but the pigtailed girl dodged to either side of them. The raven haired girl executed a kick to Ranma-chan's head, but she just leaned backwards and let Akane's foot hit air. A few unsuccessful punches later, Akane began to get mad. 'Okay, this time for real,' she said mentally.

"Here I come!!" she shouted, sprinting towards Ranma-chan. The red haired girl backpeddaled until she hit the wall, then leapt over Akane's punch, used the wall as a springboard and somersaulted over the other girl's head, landing behind her. Ranma-chan smirked and poked the back of Akane's head.

Akane turned around. Ranma started laughing lightly, although most of it was caused by the sweet marijuana. The raven haired girl then laughed as well, and said, "You're pretty good!"

"Thanks," Ranma-chan replied.

"No problem. I'm just glad you're a girl.'

"W-whaddya mean?" Ranma studdered.

"Well.." Akane started, "I just couldn't stand losing to a boy." She turned and started to leave the dojo, then stopped abruptly. "Oh yeah, and tell your friend Ryoga not to come near me," she said almost acidly, leaving a bewildered Ranma behind. 'This might get ugly,' the stoner noted mentally.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Fuku drove aimlessly around the ghetto-like town, looking for the three 'mother fuckers.' After checking an abandoned house, the officer and his partner found some huge ashes and panda prints in the dust. They had been smashing down every door to every house in the run-down town, demanding a Genma Saotome. The two had no luck until they came across a house with similar panda prints in the muddy grass lawn. Fuku smashed the door in with his foot.

"Where's Genma Saotome?!" he demanded, Yamato jumping to his side.

"Fuckin' 5-O runnin' up in mah house like some kinda sewer rats? You'se gonna die, foo's!" shouted a tiny, scrawny man with lots of golden and silver jewelry, in a high-pitched voice. "Ge-it dem motha fuckas!"

Without warning three huge men dove out of no where in front of the cops. The first one weilded a thick aluminum baseball bat. The second man had a chain wrapped around both of his hands, and he grinned sinisterly at the officers. The third guy, easily the largest of them all, had a long scimitar. The three stared at the cops for a second, then rushed.

Fuku went directly towards the third guy. "You get the other two, Yamato, this one's mine." The younger man acknowledged and zoomed for the two smaller men. As soon as he got into the frey, he was forced to go on the defensive. He dodged two punches from the second man, the ducked under a massive swing from the first man's baseball bat. The first man couldn't stop the momentum of his swing, so he accidently smashed his partner's face in. There was a sickening crunch from his jaw before he collapsed on the ground. Yamato threw five lightning fast punches, each landing on the other man's chest.

The larger man stumbled back, leaning slightly on his baseball bat. Yamato took the opportunity to throw a front snap kick to his mouth. He narrowly missed by centimeters because the other guy leaned backwards. Collecting himself quickly, the man with the baseball bat charged forward and swung the bat at Yamato's head. The younger man ducked it easily, and leapt forward with a huge punch to the face, sending the first man flying to his back. As Yamato caught his breath, he felt a sharp pain drive into his shoulder blade. He stumbled forwards, almost falling, then turned around to see the second man trying to jump him. He ignored the pain in his back as he started parrying some rapid punches. One made it through, and it knocked the wind out of him as the chain drove into his chest.

"That's gonna leave a bruise," Yamato sneered, his temper rising. He ducked under another two punches aimed for his head, then executed a reverse roundhouse and double thrust side kick combo to the man's already broken jaw. Before the poor guy with chains could even start to fall, Yamato uppercutted his chin and sent him flying into the wall. Just when he did that, he heard a familiar swooshing from behind. Without even turning, Yamato raised his hand and caught the baseball bat that was about to collide into his skull.

He turned around and lifted the first man up, using the bat, then flung him over his head. The guy flipped over Yamato and landed on his back. The rookie cop dropped the bat and jumped high into the air, then launched himself off the ceiling for a finishing knee drop. His knee connected with the first man's chest, obviously breaking a few ribs by the snapping noise that they emitted. The first man's eyes rolled into the back of his skull and he passed out. Yamato looked towards the second man, and was glad to see that he wouldn't get up.

When Fuku got to his opponent, he ducked under the other man's sword, then with cheetah-like speed (for his size), landed twelve punches in a row into the third man's gut. He stumbled back a bit, then swung the scimitar towards Fuku's neck. Fuku ducked it, so he quickly tried to stab him through the heart. The officer dodged off to the side, letting the sword fly passed his chest. More precisely, his man-boobies.

Without hestitation, the cop locked the man's arm in the crook of his elbow and threw a well aimed palm strike at his face. It connected as Fuku let go of his arm, and the mountain of muscle stumbled backwards, falling on his back.

In renewed rage, the guy with the sword jumped back up and charged forward, swinging his scimitar randomly. The fat cop dodged, ducked, or jumped over the swings while he ran backwards. The huge man sliced a small gash in the cop's cheek, then excecuted a downward swing that could easily slice a tree in half. Fuku concentrated on the blade and before it could touch him, he slapped both hands on it, stopping it in it's tracks.

The cop then snapped the blade in half, and stepped back with the top part still in his palms. He directed it at the thug, thrusted it forwards violently and pushed it through the man's left shoulder, ripping his deltoid apart.

"YYYAAAAGGH!!" the swordsman screamed, yanking it out. After letting the blade drop, he put his free hand over the deep cut and glared at the cop, hostility obvious in his eyes. Fuku stared back, a mischevious grin on his face.

"What? Done already?" he asked mockingly, wiping some of the blood off his cheek. The man charged with a loud battle cry and tried to kick Fuku. Yawning, The officer easily jumped over his leg, and landed a stomping kick to the muscled man's shoulders, using every ounce of his weight to his advantage. Blood spurted out of the third thug's left shoulder, causing him to wail in pain and stumble forward in dizziness as Fuku jumped off him. Because of the steady amount of blood loss, he finally slipped into unconciousness.

Fuku looked for the scrawny man, and saw him in a headlock via Yamato. The police man walked casually over to the little thug and stared at him.

"You saw what we did to your friends. Tell us where Genma Saotome is, and we'll let you live," Fuku threatened.

"Aie! Aie! You lil' bastids'! You ain't gon' git away wit'--" the scrawny man's rant was cut off by a sharp punch to the gut.

"Shut up and tell us where Genma is," Fuku commanded. "I don't have time for your prissy bullshit."

"Agh.. ugh.. he said he's gon' go to some.. fucked up Nerima call-ed place," the small man choked out, "he said some sheeit about.. Tendo and Martial Arts 'n' stuff, an' took off. Yo, you two po-lice betta go after 'im.. or somefin."

Yamato tossed him to the ground. The next thing the scrawny drug dealer heard was sirens wailing and tires squealing.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Ryoga sipped his tea delicately, as Soun and himself faced eachother at the dining table.

"So... that's how it was," Soun mumbled between sips.

"Uh huh," Ryoga finished, just as Genma entered the room, carrying his backpack.

"So you're the panda?" he asked.

"Err, yeah," Genma replied, now sober. "Ryoga explained it to you?"

"Indeed."

Genma sat down next to Ryoga and opened his bag, pulling out the aged bottle of Jack Daniels. "Cheers, Tendo?"

Soun smirked, and replied, "Cheers, Saotome." Soun went and grabbed some glasses for Genma and himself, then returned with a smirk. Ryoga looked a little disappointed, but he didn't really care. The bald stalky man filled both his and Soun's glass, then they tapped their glasses together in cheers. Suddenly, there was a loud screaming from upstairs, and footsteps, running like mad. Akane zoomed passed the screen door, then entered the living room. She grabbed the table and placed it over her head in a beating position. Luckily the alcohol was caught.

"I'm gonna beat him to a pulp!" she screeched.

"What's the meaning of this, Akane?" Soun inquired, staring at his youngest daughter.

"There's a molester in our bath!" she yelled.

"That's odd. I thought Ranma was in there right now," Kasumi said, entering the room. Ryoga instantly snickered, trying not to burst out laughing.

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!" she screamed at Ryoga more then asked. Then, the black haired, pigtailed martial artist himself appeared from the screen door.

"I'm Ranma Saotome... Sorry 'bout this," he muttered. Akane nearly dropped the table on herself.

After Genma and Ranma reintroduced themselves, they explained the whole Jusenkyo situation. They left out the part about Ryoga being a pig, because they both knew the embarrassment of it all.

"There there son, your problem isn't so bad," Soun said. Ranma gave him a quizzicle look. "This is Kasumi, my eldest daughter. She's nineteen.. This is Nabiki, my second daughter. She's seventeen.. And this is Akane, my third daughter, she's sixteen. Choose any one you want, and she'll be your fiance."

"It's settled then," Kasumi blurted out.

"Akane will be Ranma's fiance," Nabiki added.

"Wh.. what? I don't want to marry a pervert like him!" Akane shouted.

"Who're you callin' a pervert?!" Ranma shouted back.

"You, you pervert!" she snapped back. Genma and Soun laughed as they continued to rant and fight.

The end of the fight resulted with Ranma having a sore cheek. Now, Ryoga, Genma and himself sat in their room. Ryoga was rolling a doobie while Ranma was rubbing his sore cheek. The bandanna-clad boy added the finishing touch, tightening each end into a Jamaican-style doob. He lit it up and inhaled the smoke with a fangy grin.

"So," Ryoga started between puffs, "what yer sayin' is we can't smoke drugs, or even act like we're on drugs as long as we're around the Tendos?"

"That's exactly what I'm sayin'," Genma replied, receiving the joint.

"Jeez, that's fucked," Ranma mumbled. Genma took a few more tokes and passed the joint to his son, who was more then happy to attempt to get away from the pain on his face. Smoke began to settle everywhere.

"Heh heh heh, you know what'd be funny?" Ryoga said, looking at Genma.

"Wut?" the stalky man replied.

"If Fuku was still chasin' us." The three laughed out loud for a while, and Ranma passed the joint back to Ryoga, exhaling the herbal smoke.

"Yeah, that'd be a trip 'n' a half," Ranma muttered through a grin.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"DAMN IT WHERE THE FUCK IS NERIMA?!?!" Fuku shouted at a sign that read 'Osaka'. "ACHOOO!!!"

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"We should go on shrooms," Genma mumbled, taking the joint again.

"Yah right pops, then we wouldn't be able to sleep," Ranma countered. Genma exhaled the smoke in Ranma's face, and smirked.

"Who needs sleep?" he questioned, looking between Ranma and Ryoga.

"Not you," Ryoga said, "Yer so lazy you'd prolly sleep through all of tomorrow." Genma laughed at this as he passed the doob back to Ranma. All of a sudden there was a loud knocking on the door, and the three paused in total paranoia.

"Hey! Why is there smoke coming from your door??" Soun asked, still pounding.

"Umm uhh.. Nothin' to worry about Tendo!" Genma babbled, sweat pouring down his cheek.

"And what's that smell?!" he shouted, trying to open the locked door, "What are you guys doing in there?!"

Ranma panicked and threw the joint at Ryoga, who sadly caught it by the cherry and flung it away. Then Ryoga got an idea.

"We're burning an insence burner!" he tried.

"....Oh," Soun mumbled, seeming to accept it. They heard footsteps going down the hall, then Genma turned around to see a small fire on his packback from the doobie.

"OH NO, THE DRUGS!!!!" he yelled. Ranma and Ryoga turned and their eyes went wide as they saw a strap from the backpack on fire. Ranma and Ryoga jumped towards it and started stomping it, and they heard footsteps running back.

"What was that you said?!" Soun asked coldly.

"Er.. I.. I said.." he said, trying to think quickly. Genma turned just in time to see the backpack get thrown across the room, spreading the fire onto his futon.

"Oh shit," he mumbled, getting up to help the boys. They all stomped on the fire, attempting to put it out. They stomped hard, but it seemed to spread like an STD.

"WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN THERE?!" Soun yelled, pounding on the door, "HOW MANY INSENCE BURNERS DO YOU GOT IN THERE, FIFTY?!"

"No no!! Just a couple-- and, I said squish the bug!" Genma blurted as Ranma opened a window. Ryoga finally managed to get the fire out.

"....Oh," again, the old man bought it. They heard the footsteps go back down the hall, and they all sighed in utter relief. Then Ryoga perked up.

"...THAT WAS TRIPPY!" he exclaimed.

"Fuckin' right!" Ranma cried. The pigtailed boy stopped, inhaled the smokey air and sighed. "Hmm hmm, that's some good weed." He looked to Ryoga who must've been thinking the same thing, because his eyes were slitted as thin as paper. Genma checked the backpack, and was happy to know that only four grams of weed and a gram of hash were demolished in the flames.

After the smoke cleared somewhat, they all plopped themselves on their futons and tried to drift off to sleep, waiting for the next day to come. Ranma smiled as the happy weed buzz crawled about inside of him, and he closed his eyes, passing out from all the smoke he inhaled instead of actually going to sleep willingly.

**END chapter 3.**


	4. School on Shrooms

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or the characters. All I own is a character I made up (Officer Fuku) and this story.

_Quick Joke: What's the last thing that goes through an insect's mind as it hits a windshield? It's ass. AAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!_

_**The Brotherhood: Half Baked**_

**Chapter 4: School on Shrooms**

After a good nights rest the Saotome's and Ryoga woke up, and Genma was preparing to roll a hash joint. The stalky man held a pin with the ball of hash in one hand, and a lighter in his other, which was lit under the dark coloured drug. After he was satisfied, he ripped off the crustier part of the ball, stuck it on top of a paper and relit the lighter under it again. After repeating the same action a few times, he rolled it, sealed it and stuck a filter in it. Finally, he sparked it up and they smoked it.

After smoking it, they cleared the smoke and sprayed some cologne in the air and on their clothes to hide the stench. Then the stoners put some visene in their eyes so they wouldn't be as bloodshot. Finally, they left the room with huge grins.

"Hehe, good shit," Genma mumbled.

"Uh huh," Ryoga muttered quietly. Genma staggered his way downstairs while Ranma and Ryoga took a bath.

When they finished bathing, the two young men met back in their room. The pigtailed boy reached into his father's partially burnt back pack, then pulled out twelve grams of mushrooms.

"Wanna get fucked up even more?" he asked.

"Psh, I'm ready fer anythin'" Ryoga replied, although he knew he was gonna act up when they kicked in. They both downed six grams of them, grimacing at the nasty taste. Ranma turned to his friend with a smirk on his face.

"We're gonna be so fuckin' high in about an hour," he laughed, "we'll prob'ly think the world's gonna end." After a brief chuckle together, they both tumbled down the stairs and sat at the dining table, where Genma was already waiting patiently for breakfast.

Ranma stared at the table, not even noticing Nabiki, Soun, Akane and Kasumi gather around the table. He looked up to see Akane seated across from him, switching glares between himself and Ryoga. The pigtailed boy quickly turned back down at the table as his face slightly reddened. The slap that he received yesterday was still rather painful. He continued to stare down until he saw a bowl of food slide directly under his nose, along with a cup of tea. He looked back up to see Kasumi smiling brightly.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

"You're welcome," she said with a smile. He smiled back, and gratefully began stuffing his face.

After breakfast, the three stoners were going at it in a triple threat match. They would've done it before breakfast but they forgot all about it.

Akane watched in jealousy as they sparred in the back yard. After a mid air battle over the koi pond, Ranma landed a kick to his father's chest, sending him sprawling into the water. Soon after Ranma was punched in with his father by the lost boy. Genma-panda and Ranma-chan stood up, furious that their hash buzz was gone. They immediately stormed off to get hot water while Ryoga walked casually back inside. He risked a small glance towards Akane, only to get a dirty look in return. He walked past her, trying to ignore the hate filled glare she just gave him.

Ranma and Genma, after heating up a teakettle, were now pie-eyed once again. After they walked back into the dining room, the panda-no-more slammed a bookbag into Ranma and Ryoga.

"You guys are goin' ta school," he muttered.

"Wha..what? School?" Ranma questioned with a look of surprise. Ryoga's face matched his own exactly.

"Yeah," Genma said, smiling. Ranma began to lose his temper.

"Why do you always make the decisions?!!" he cried, booting his father back into the koi pond. Shortly later Nabiki popped up from behind them and looked at the two stoners.

"You guys are going to the same school as me and Akane," she almost chirped, "Gotta go, see ya!" She left leaving a bewildered pair of high teenagers behind.

"Wait up sis!" Akane called through the window, wanting to catch up to Nabiki.

"You have to take Ranma to school. He's your fiance after all, Akane," she shouted back. Without another word, she was gone through the gate and heading towards the school.

Then the raven haired girl herself showed up in front Ranma and Ryoga. After a quick glare, she pushed past both of them. "Well come on," she said angrily, "we gotta go or we'll be late."

Ranma turned to the bandanna-clad boy. "I don't wanna go."

"Hey, Ranma," Ryoga almost whispered, getting the other boy's attention, "remember last time we went to school on shrooms?" Ranma's frown slowly turned into a grin as he recalled the hilarity of the classroom spinning in circles.

"Let's go!" he shouted, running after Akane. Ryoga was immediately on his tail, today was not the day he wanted to get lost.

After the two had caught up, Ranma got splashed by some crazy old woman watering her sidewalk, which happened after a quick feud with his father about 'not mouthing your fiancee'. Ryoga didn't really care though, he was just glad he hadn't ended up on Mt. Fuji. The old man walked away, figuring Ranma had learned his lesson, although he had not. He knew by the look in Ranma's eyes that he wanted to say 'take a hike'. But oh well, there were drugs at home to be smoked.

An awkward silence passed over the three, then Akane spoke. "Come on," she said, "lets go to Dr. Tofu's and get some hot water. He's the local chiropractor."

Ranma only nodded and began following Akane. Soon Ryoga followed too.

When they reached the clinic, the two boys, well, now one boy and one red headed girl, were told to wait by the door while Akane got the hot water. Ryoga stood, staring into outer space when he felt something touch his shoulder. Ranma-chan immediately turned around, then jumped onto the door like a scared cat.

The lost boy cocked and eye brow upwards, then turned to his shoulder and saw a hand made of bones. Shrugging he looked forwards again, then something struck him. 'Wait a minute,' he thought, 'if that is a hand made of bone on my shoulder... then that must mean... uhhh.. there's something touching my arm, but what's it called?' Ryoga pondered for a while, trying to think of the word he was looking for. Then his eyes widened in realization. "Oh yeah!" he blurted out, "It's a skeleton!"

He let his eyes droop again, then his eyes widened in realization for the second time and he stumbled backwards, yelping out a muffled scream.

"Oh, sorry, did I scare you two?" a man with a dark gi said. The two teens just stared. Suddenly, Akane came back holding a teakettle and slammed the door shut, squeezing Ranma-chan's fingers in the door while knocking Ryoga half a dozen feet away. The door reopened to reveal Ranma-chan with eight throbbing fingers and a surprised Ryoga getting back on his feet. Akane turned to the man in the dark gi.

"Oh.. hello Tofu-Sensei," she said with a bashful smile.

"Hello Akane, have you been keeping out of trouble?" he responded.

"No.. I mean, yes, I have," she looked down as a light blush formed on her face. Ranma-chan looked between the two, and an impish grin brought itself to her face.

After changing back, Ranma regained his buzz and the three were running to school.

"I don't want either of you being familiar around me at school, you got that?" she squealed with anger in her voice.

"Yeah yeah," the two boys replied simultaniously.

They continued running for a while, then Ranma jumped beside Akane. "Tofu is a good martial artist, isn't he?"

"Y-yeah, he's the best.." Akane replied, "How did you know?"

"I could tell by the way he snuck up on me like that.. Oh yeah, and I thought you said you didn't like boys?"

Akane's face transformed from a dreamy expression to pure anger as they approached the school. "That's true... Boys..." Ranma and Ryoga stared at her. "Boys.... I hate boys! I HATE BOYS!" she yelled loudly. Then, out of no where, the whole male populace of the school ran out of the gate towards them. The two stoners looked slightly startled.

"Wh.. what's that?" Ryoga asked, pointing to the guys.

"NOTHING!!" she screamed back. Ranma and Ryoga leapt to the wall of the gate and stared in wonder at the violent chick beating her way through a horde of perverts. She was all over them like a fat kid on a smartie before they could even react. Baseball players, hockey players, karate kids, football players, sumo wrestlers and just your every day casual students, all the like. Each of them fell.

"Akane! Date with m-" the kid was cut of by a fist to the face. The violence continued for one minute before every boy was on the ground in pain.

"Honestly," Akane seethed, "every single morning! I'm tired of it!"

She was cut off by an object thrown at her at a high speed. Instinctively, she caught it and looked at it. A rose. Akane's face twisted into one of annoyance.

"Salutations, Akane Tendo," a man said in a pompous voice, revealing himself from his hiding spot behind a tree, "It is I, Tatewaki Kuno. I come to thee with eternal love, my fair lady. So I ask, for the right to date with me.. would you spar with me?" he raised his bokken.

"Er.. E-excuse me," Akane stammered, looking for a means of escape.

Ranma jumped down next to the raven haired girl, leaving Ryoga to space out. "Heh, your more popular then I thought."

"You there!" Kuno shouted, pointing his bokken at the pigtailed boy, "Aren't you being awfully familiar around Akane Tendo?"

"Yeah, well, uhh... it's like, I'm a guest at her house.. and stuff."

"WHAT?! You, under the same roof as my beloved Akane Tendo?!" Kuno shouted in rage.

"Shaddup, your talk is makin' me get a headache!"

"Silence, knave! I demand to know who you are!" Ranma was about to speak, until Kuno interupted. "But wait, is it not customary to give one's name first? Fine, then! Listen well, knave, for I will only say this once! The rising new star of the high school tencing world! My power is beyond measu--"

"YO SHUT UP!" Ryoga cried from the distance, "You're babbling like a moron!"

"..You! What is thy name?!"

Ryoga jumped down and as he was about to speak, Kuno interupted him as well. "But wait, is it not customary to give one's name first? ..." the two stoners ignored the same speech. "... The blue thunder of Furinkan High School. Tatewaki Kuno, age seventeen." he looked rather proud as a bolt of lightning dramatically struck the ground in the background.

"Yeh well you'sa foo'." Ryoga said, grinning. "I'm Ryoga Hibiki."

"An' I'm Ranma Saotome," Ranma cut in.

"Ugh.. we're gonna be late!" Akane cried. Ranma looked back at her, then shrugged.

"You foul brute. Hounding my beloved Akane Tendo.. I shall never allow it!" Kuno charged at him. He dodged a couple bokken swings, then easily booted him out of commision. He smirked as Akane stared at him with wide eyes.

'That.. that was incredible!' she noted mentally.

"So, are we goin' to class 'er what?" Ranma said, clearing her thoughts away. Without another word Akane started bootin' it to the school, letting the two boys behind her follow.

They were all in the same first class, which was math. They were relieved to not be late, in fact they were early, but as soon as Ranma took his seat, his mushroom buzz kicked in. Everything started twisting around, and he turned to Ryoga. The lost boy's shroom buzz hadn't kicked in, but he was still baked from the hash joint.

He widened his eyes as the colors started changing, tripping him out. He buried himself in his arms, which were crossed across his desk. Yet he remained in control, only letting his laughs escape in a whisper.

When Ryoga sat down he felt a tingly sensation, and knew the mushies would kick in soon. Usually he got the feeling about five minutes before it kicked in at full blast. On top of that he had a lot more then usual, the most he'd ever had was three grams, and that was in the car with Ranma and his dad, and that was a heavy trip out. Smiling, he waited patiently. One minute passed, then the teacher entered.

"I would like to indroduce two new students that are joining us. Ranma Saotome and Ryoga Hibiki, please come to the front of the class." The two did as they were told, rising from their seats. Ryoga noticed that Ranma was having difficulty focusing, and tried not to laugh at him. They stood in front of the chalk board and stared at their new classmates, as they stared back. A lot of the girls smiled at the two hunks. Too bad they didn't know the two were punks.

"These two have just rescently come back from a trip to China, so lets all give them a Nihao!.. well, maybe not. Please take your seats," the teacher stated.

Ranma and Ryoga sat back down, somewhat embarrased from such a stupid introduction. They sat at the very back of the class side by side, while Akane sat three desks up on the row left of Ryoga. Ryoga glanced at the raven haired girl. 'She is violent,' he thought, 'really really violent.'

His thinking was interrupted by a sudden jolt out of reality via mushrooms. It took him by utter surprise when everything jittered into a state of abnormality. He shook out of it a little, then plastered his hands flat out on his desk. His eyes bugged out and his mouth hung wide open. Colors, shapes, the works. And it was fuckin' funny. He swayed back and forth almost violently. The desks were jumping up and down like a free grasshopper while a Rob Zombie tune played itself in his head. He tried desperately to remain in control, but to no avail. Paranoia swept over him, but the hash he smoked made it seem all that much more funnier. Hold on.. what was that? Squinting his eyes, he saw a simple plant in the middle of the room. It had eyes. Since when do plants have eyes? It was looking at him, it's evil eyes telling him that it wanted to kill him.. No, no, it was looking through him, passed him, yeah, that must be it.. a plant wouldn't single him out would it? Feeling very uneasy about a killer plant, he turned to Ranma.

The pigtailed, weed smoking, hash brewing, mushroom chewing martial artist had his head buried in his arms. He was looking at him through a tiny peak hole, and was laughing silently, trying not to burst out into laughter and get in shit.

When Ranma saw the lost boy's priceless face, he almost lost it. The off-color and tripped out face combination were trying to make him laugh. He stared at Ryoga, the guy was definitely lost. Lost in his mind. Just the face told him that Ryoga didn't have a clue.

After watching Ranma's back rise and fall in silent laughter, Ryoga turned back to the front of the class. The voice that was booming from the front of the class had stopped. Everyone was staring at him.

'What..?' Ryoga thought. Then, in a matter of seconds, they all transformed, the teacher turned into the 8-bit version or Luigi from Super Mario Brothers 1, and the classmates turned into little koopas. The Rob Zombie music that occupied his head faded and switched to the old Mario music. After blinking a few times he looked down at his hand. And it melted into a chocolate puddle. When he moved his fingers, his hand became one again.

He burst out laughing and stuck his head in his arms, copying Ranma.

"What the.. Mr. Hibiki?" the teacher asked, wondering what the hell his problem was. Ranma abruptly burst out laughing for a few seconds, but quickly stabled himself.

Ryoga raised his head back up and continued to laugh, though not so loudly. Soon after the entire Mario thing went away, he gasped in some air, then looked to Ranma.

"...DAT WAS TRIPPY!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the students around him.

"Fuckin' right!" Ranma cried, though a lot quieter.

The teacher thought it was some kind of joke, and the look of disappointment crossed his face. "You two, out in the hall."

The two were assigned to stand in the hall with buckets of water. They did so, but it took almost ten minutes for them to find their way, especially Ryoga, who was having trouble finding his way past the rows of desks. Finally though, they made it into the hall and were quietly tripping out while carrying buckets. Soon after, Akane showed up with a bucket of water to.

"You jerks!" she mumbled quietly.

"What we do?" Ranma asked, almost sounding robotic.

"I got in trouble because of you two!" she said, trying not to raise her voice too much.

"Huh?" Ranma muttered, looking confused.

"Never mind!" she almost shouted, turning away.

In the distance, they heard someone yell 'WHAT??!!'. Ranma laughed, while something on the wall caught Ryoga's attention. After a somewhat touching moment of seeing the wall breathe, Ranma heard footsteps down the hall, and turned to see Kuno running at him with a bucket of water.

'Hmm,' Ranma thought, 'why is water dangerous again?'

"Yo, Ryoga, why's water dangerous? Me-err I uh.. forgot," Ranma mumbled. Akane gave Ranma a half amazed, half confused glare while Ryoga thought over the question.

"Uhh... uhm... shrinkage?" he guessed, shrugging.

'Shrinkage.' Ranma thought. He figured Ryoga meant his manhood, then he remembered that when splashed with cold water, he gets a major shrinkage down there. 'Major shrinkage. Why does that ring a bell?' he pondered for a second, then remembered that his whole body shrunk as well. It hit him like a brick.

"Oh yeah," he mumbled, "the curse." Just then, Kuno reached them and splashed the contents of his bucket at Ranma. He stumbled out of the way. He turned to the boy who tried to splash him. The kendoist was almost a turquoise color, but Ranma didn't care to figure it out. The pigtailed boy stared at Kuno, and tugged at his pigtail nervously. "What?" he asked.

"You cretin!" Kuno blurted out loudly, "I shall not allow this engagement of yours to Akane Tendo!" Ranma and Akane both gestured for him to keep quiet. Ryoga was lost in his own thoughts, and started scuffing his feet towards the pretty red object on the wall, which was changing into a brilliant magnet. What a strange looking object that red thing was. Or was it blue?

"The vengeance of heaven is slow but sure!" the bokken weilding boy finished. Only a few seconds later, every student was asking Akane and Ranma about the engagement. The girls were excited and the boys were angry.

"W-wait, it wasn't our idea, it was out fathers'!" Akane shouted, feeling very awkward.

"Y-yeah.." Ranma slurred, anxious to escape.

"Silence!" Kuno hollered, unsheathing his wooden sword, "Ranma Saotome, you shall fall before my very--" he was cut off by a loud "CSSHHH" sound, and felt some sort of foamy substance cover him.

Ranma turned his head to see the lost boy spraying Kuno with a fire extinguisher and laughing so hard he was almost bawling. For a few seconds, the pigtailed stoner just stared, then he doubled over into laughter. Akane just looked at the three with a baffled expression.

"Hahaa- Ryoga- hahahaha- what're- AHAHAHA!! ya doin!?" Ranma demanded, doing a bad job at keeping under control.

"I'm ...savin'... you," he replied through heavy bouts of drug enhanced laughs and giggles. He threw the fire extinguisher at Kuno. But, because of his lack of directional sense and the shrooms were in full effect, it missed Kuno by a mile and hit Ranma square in the face. "Whoops."

"Er.. Ahhh.." Ranma mumbled, staggering backwards. He removed the offending object from his face, and now felt a lot more, but not completely sober. He turned his head to the lost boy. "What was that for?!"

"Huh?" Ryoga asked, unable to comprehend. He just barely dodged a kick aimed for his face.

"Indeed!" Kuno yelled, turning to the bandanna-clad boy. "You shall fall before my wrath, fool!"

The day of school ended in Ryoga being chased all around Nerima by the two angered young men. School on shrooms, a trip to remember, even though they were only at school for like twenty minutes.

Later on that day, two exhausted boys.. no, one exhausted boy with a large, sore goose egg on his head and one exhausted red headed girl.. sat in the dining room of their new home sipping tea. Ryoga's mushroom buzz had just wore off about twenty minutes ago, and he was seriously burnt out. Ranma-chan's buzz wore off when she fell in that puddle and Kuno started another dumb speech about her beauty and what not. 'That jerk,' Ranma thought. The guy actually fell on top of her and 'accidently' grabbed her breast. After that he acted as if he had been in love with her for years. Ranma-chan decided that he might as well not think of it.

"Where is everyone?" she asked. Ryoga didn't answer though.

Soun and Genma were at a bar, Nabiki was no where to be seen, Kasumi was in the kitchen starting dinner and Akane was in the dojo. A few seconds after Ranma asked the question, Ryoga cast a hateful glare towards the girl who was sitting across from him.

"Why the hell did you chase me all over town for seven hours and smash me with a rock?!" he barked, pointing an accusing finger.

"You hit me with a fire extinguisher!" Ranma-chan replied.

"I didn't mean to!!" Ryoga countered. She ignored him and gulped down some of her tea. The two exchanged a few more devilish glances until Akane walked in.

"..What was all that about in school?" she demanded.

"He hit me with a fire extinguisher," Ranma-chan said.

"That's not what I meant!" she yelled, trying to keep her temper in check. "I meant what was with all the laughing and acting stupid? You two got me in trouble!"

"How?" the pigtailed girl asked.

"Because I argued with the teacher that you guys were just playing around and he told me to wait in the hall."

"..Why?" Ranma asked, scratching her head lightly.

"Because!!" she shouted. "That doesn't answer my question though. Why were you two being such jerks in class?"

"'Because.'" Ranma-chan mimicked.

"Jerk!" the raven haired girl said. She turned to Ryoga. "You'll tell me, won't you?"

Ryoga thought about it, then smiled a little. "I'll tell you," he said. Ranma turned to him, her mouth gaping. "Just for your information, Ranma wasn't 'acting' stupid. He's just naturally dumb. And I'm not used to being in groups, so I was just a little.... nervous and stuff." He said it with a blush, because he knew that it was true. He was the loner. Ranma looked like she was gonna kill.

Akane's eyes softened just the tinyest bit, before hardening again when she turned back to Ranma. "Well, at least one of you is honest!" she said. She turned and walked away, ignoring Ranma's scowl.

When she was out of earshot, the pigtailed girl turned to Ryoga. "You are such an ass!"

"Revenge is the best," he laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" she questioned, clenching her fists. Before Ryoga could answer, a loud crashing sound came from the wall. A few seconds later, the wall collapsed and a woman's figure appeared in the thick dust. She was weilding what looked like two spheres on sticks.

When the dust cleared, the woman was revealed. Beautiful and well built. Long lavender hair. Murderous violet eyes. The spheres on sticks were bonboris.

"Oh damn," the stoners said in unison.

"Ranma! You I kill!" she shouted with a bitter expression. Then she turned to Ryoga and her face turned from bitter to bittersweet. "...Ryoga, airen."

**END chapter 4.**


	5. BUZZted! Part 1

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or the characters. All I own is some characters I made up (Officer Fuku, Officer Yamato) and this story.

**A/N**: Sorry I haven't updated lately, been doin stuff. Also, I'm really stoned when I'm writing this chapter, so don't be surprised if there are some errors.

_Quick Joke: What did one saggy tit say to the other? "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!" AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! LOL!!!_

_**The Brotherhood: Half Baked**_

**Chapter 5: BUZZted! Part 1**

"SHAMPOO!!" the two teens said simultaneously with wide eyes. The Amazon turned her attention to the pigtailed girl and held a bonbori high over her head.

"Ranma! You no steal Ryoga!" she cried, swinging the bonbori downward. Ranma-chan dodged, and the colorful mace smashed onto the end of the table and into the floor. The part of the table where Ranma was sitting crumbled downward, meaning that the end of the table where Ryoga was sitting flew upwards into the air, giving the lost boy a painful crack to the chin. He flew back a few feet, then landed on his back.

"Aiyaa.." Shampoo murmured quietly, frowning because she had just KO'd her lover-to-be, "...Ranma! This your fault!" The crazy girl launched at Ranma again, swinging her bonbori's at the other girl's head. The red haired girl skillfully dodged the blows.

"W-wait Shampoo!" she shouted desperately, trying not to lose her footing. SMASH!! A hole in the wall. SMASH!!!! An even bigger one in the floor.

"What is going on in here?!" Akane growled as she ran into the dining room. She watched in disbelief as the two girls fought, creating large holes in the house. "What the..?!"

In only a matter of seconds, the entire Tendo family was there, as well as a fat panda. "What is the meaning of this?!" Soun cried. But his question went unanswered as the two girls bolted out of the hole in the wall, previously used as an entrance. The middle aged man looked around for Ryoga, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Growf," the panda behind him growfed, holding up a sign. It read: [Dunno]. With that, the panda quickly slipped away from the group.

Ryoga desperately crawled towards the koi pond. His chin was aching like hell. 'The last thing I need is her stalking me again,' he mused. As soon as he reached the pond, he jumped in. Then, out came a black piglet with a black and yellow bandanna.

"Bwee," he oinked, feeling quite relieved. He was about to relax when he felt a giant foot slam into his back, followed by a large bonbori. He lie in the crator in the ground, twitching slightly, wishing he was loaded up on booze to the point of feeling no pain. A few minutes later though, he was grateful for losing consiousness.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

_[Nerima, population 11600]_

"F-finally," the overweight cop mumbled, "We made it to Nerima!!"

"Wow, it's about fucking time!" complained Yamato, "We passed through Osaka three times, and Hokkaido at least twelve!!"

"Shaddup, we're here now so quit your bitchin', and it was your damn fault in the first place! SO THERE!!!"

"Yes, your majesty," Yamato replied with more than a hint of sarcasm. Fuku shot him a dirty glare before continuing down the streets.

'It'll only be a matter of time now,' Fuku thought to himself. 'I'll get you two fuckers once and for good.'

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Akane ventured out of the house into the back yard. 'Where did Ranma and that... girl go?' she thought, letting her eyes wander across the lawn and towards the half broken wall. A small crater caught her attention. it seemed to be moving. Upon closer inspection, she saw a cute little black piglet smashed a good two feet into the ground.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed, picking the poor creature up. She shook it violently to wake it up. "Are you ok?? Poor thing!"

She took it inside to attend to it's wound. She'd have to deal with Ranma later.

Stepping into the bathroom, she removed some rubbing alcohol from the cabinant above the sink. She then grabbed a small cotton ball and poured some of the liquid onto it, then gently applied it to the big bump on the piglets head. Slowly, the pig's eyes cracked open to come face to face with Akane. She hugged it gently.

"Are you okay?" she asked, gently cradling Ryoga in her arms. The animal emitted a small bwee before trying to struggle out of her grip. She lifted him up to her face and gently kissed him on the snout....

... just in time for Ranma to see as he burst through the wall of the bathroom, landing in the furo. A now male Ranma jumped out of the warm water and cowered away from a now confused Amazon.

Akane turned to them.

"What are you two doing smashing the house up like that?!" she yelled.

"I didn't do it!" Ranma shouted back desperately.

"Where Ranma go?" Shampoo asked, eyeing male Ranma suspiciously.

"I'm Ranma," he replied before really thinking.

"You not Ranma, Ranma is girl!" she said inrediculously.

"I'm serious! Watch!" Ranma said, reaching for the shower handle. He turned on the cold water and sprayed himself, then turned the hot water on and changed back to a guy.

Shampoo simply stared.

"See? I'm really a guy!" Ranma said.

Shampoo seemed dumbfounded. "Aiyaa... but.. Ryoga airen."

"Bwee!" the piglet said in protest.

Confused with her emotions, the Amazon turned and ran away, leaving the two stoners behind. Akane turned around and looked down at her new pet.

"Isn't he a pervert, P-chan?" she asked innocently.

"'P-chan'?" Ranma echoed, glaring at the piglet.

"I found him in the yard," Akane said almost defesively.

"And you kissed him?" he said with a disapproving look.

"Yes.. So?"

Ranma's lip slightly curled upwards before he walked past her. "Well, I might as well explain what happened with her."

"Yeah!" Akane agreed, "and why she destroyed our house!"

Everyone sat in the dining room. Genma seemed reluctant to start, so Ranma began for him.

"It all started after we went to the cursed springs of Jusenkyo. We were hungry and wet, so the Jusenkyo Guide suggested that we should go and visit the Joketsuzoku tribe.

_**FLASHBACK**_

"Man am I ever hungry," complained the red-head, who was carrying a little black piglet by it's bandana. "Where can we get something to eat?"

"Joketsuzoku tribe is straight ahead," replied the guide, picking up his pace a bit. When they arrived, the Amazons were having a big tournament. "Aiyah, Amazons have big tournament today!" exclaimed the guide excitedly. "Is great honor to win tournament!"

A panda, a girl, and a piglet watched as a lavender haired girl fought with a man twice as big as her that was.. oddly dressed. However, as soon as they noticed the battle, they also noticed a very nice smelling aroma in the air. Without even thinking, Ranma-chan stalked towards the mountain of food that lay next to the battle log.

"M-munchies," she said, drooling. All three of them dug in. The food was great indeed.

SMASH

The three narrowly dodged a large bonbori that crashed into the table. Ranma leapt up and sat upon the bonbori, while the two animals continued to munch.

"What?" Ranma asked, food still dangling in her mouth.

The girl said some jibberish that made Ranma-chan laugh. Then the Jusenkyo Guide strolled up and stared at them. "Uh, sirs, what you do here? This is grand tournament prize."

The girl said something else, and the Guide translated.

"She say 'What you doing with my prize, I going to win tournament this year.'"

"So this is a prize? For a tournament? So it'd be fine if I challenged her and won?" Ranma asked, taking another bite of some watermelon. The Guide translated her words to Shampoo. The Amazon simply nodded and put on a wide grin. The two took a battle stance on the gigantic log and prepared for battle.

Just then, Ryoga accidently knocked some hot tea on himself that was unforunately placed on the prize table. He turned back to his old self, although just a little bit naked. Several screams and shouts rang through the air, some in disgust but a lot more in awe or excitement. Then Ranma pointed at Ryoga.

"Dude, you're showing!" she yelled. The lost boy just stared at him like he was talking in a different language. His mushroom buzz had kicked into full blast and he had no clue where he was.

"Dude! YOU'RE SHOWING!!!" Ranma said again. Ryoga scratched his head, then looked down. He didn't see any clothes. When he looked back up, there were a lot of faces looking in his direction. After screaming like a little child, he started bookin' it. He ran right through the battle log, cutting it in half, and took off into the wilderness, fated to get lost for two months.

_**END FLASHBACK**_

"And when Shampoo fell first, it was declared that she was defeated by us both. The guide then told us about Amazon Laws - if you're defeated by an outsider woman, give her the Kiss of Death and hunt her down to the ends of the earth," Ranma explained. "But if the outsider is a male, give him the Kiss of Marriage and marry him."

Ranma finally finished his story. Of course, he had to cut out the whole Ryoga/P-chan and the mushrooms thing, so he had to say that was when he met Ryoga and became good friends.

The Tendo family was speechless.

"Oh my," Kasumi almost whispered, not sure of what to say.

"Did she take Ryoga away?" Soun asked, interested in the entire thing. Genma's mouth quirked upwards just the tiniest bit and Ranma could hear him fighting to keep a snicker down.

"Ehhhh... he's closer then you guys think," Ranma stated firmly, trying to hide the humor in his voice. It obviously didn't work.

"What's so funny, you two?" Nabiki asked as she bit into a biscuit, her face seemingly not showing much interest.

"Bweedle-eedle-eee!" Ryoga oinked, then began conking himself in the head with his hoof. Genma gave in first and roared into a laughing fit, soon followed by Ranma. P-chan laughed along, but not with them. He was laughing at them because of the inrediculous stares they were receiving.

Finally, the two 'martial' artists stopped and looked around.

"Sorry, but that pig is funny," Genma piped in, hoping it'd be enough to satisfy everyone. 'It's a real trip out being around these people when I'm high,' he thought.

"Hey pop, wanna go to the dojo for a quick spar?" Ranma asked as they both rose at the same time.

"HOLD IT.." Soun growled, dangerously and coldly. "What are you two going to do about my house?!" he shouted, on the verge of letting his demon head take control.

"I'll pay ya back, Tendo ol' buddy!" Genma said.

"WHERE ARE YOU OF ALL PEOPLE GOING TO GET MONEY?!?!?!" Soun roared, finally letting his head explode into a giant purple 'thing'.

"Trust me Tendo," Genma said, although beads of sweat were rolling down his face. "RUN BOY!!" Genma suddenly bellowed. With that, Ranma and Genma took off towards the Dojo, soon followed by an enraged Soun and a black piglet.

"Father has such strange friends, don't you think?" Kasumi said out of the blue.

"Yeah, you said it sis," Nabiki answered, biting into another biscuit as she started figuring out the cost of the repairs with an abacus.

Akane frowned at her newfound piglet's hasty retreat, but she figured she'd find him later. "Why can't anything around here be normal?" she asked herself.

As soon as Ryoga found the furo, he eagerly leapt into it and transformed back into a boy.

"If I know Ranma and his father, they didn't go to the dojo to spar, but to smoke up! I must find them before that happens!" He said to himself, almost dramatically. When he stepped out of the furo, he remembered his clothes were still in the koi pond. "WHY ME?!?!" he exasperatedly yelled.

"What's all the shouting in there?" came a feminine voice, one he recognized as Nabiki's. He turned and dove into the furo just as the door slid open. Ryoga poked his head out of the water in a very modest fashion.

"N-nabiki?" he stammered, genuinely flustered.

"Oh, sorry about that," she said, although her eyes shone with amusement. "I'll remember to knock next time."

"H-h-hey! C-can you do me a big favour? Actually, two big favours?" Ryoga asked when Nabiki had turned away. He rose out of the furo until he was only chest deep in the water, and then sank back down when Nabiki looked at him again.

"Hmm?" she hummed.

"Umm.. could you possibly grab my clothes from the k-koi pond? heh.. that dirty Ranma played a joke on me, but now I can't get up without... revealing myself," Ryoga explained, then winced at Nabiki's evil smile, "And after that could you lead me to the dojo? I-I'd like to... spar with Ranma and his dad."

Ryoga was proud, showing so much courage in such an embarrasing situation.

'Hmm,' Nabiki thought, 'So that's what Ranma and Mr. Saotome were laughing about.'

"Okay, but it'll cost ya," Nabiki said with a predatory grin.

"I'm willing to pay you everything I have!" boasted Ryoga, who was trying his best not to smile at his own implication. Nabiki seemed to brighten at that, and she left. The lost boy waited for a few minutes, until she finally returned. She flung the clothing in, then slid the door shut.

As Ryoga began to put his boxers on, the door slid open again, causing him to freeze.

"Hmm, not bad at all," Nabiki praised, "and what a cute little bottom you have!"

"GAH!!" Ryoga shouted sharply, then put his boxers all the way on, almost ripping them in the process. Quickly he put on the other articles of clothing before turning around with an extremely red face.

"Oh don't look at me like that," Nabiki pouted, "It was your own fault for making me go to the trouble of fishing your clothes out of the pond." She smirked, then continued, "Well, lets go to the dojo."

Ryoga only nodded, then trudged after Nabiki towards the dojo. Upon reaching the doors to the dojo, Nabiki cleared her throat then held her hand out expectantly. Ryoga couldn't help but grin.

"Well, here ya go," he said as he dug into his left pocket, "All the money I have in the world."

He retrieved a total of 17 yen, then handed it to her and favoured the girl with a genuine smile. She frowned at that.

"Thank you very much," he said, then walked into the dojo.

"Hmm.. guess I should've named the price," Nabiki said, her frown deepening. Then her frown turned into a wry smile. "At least I got a free show," she added, then left.

When Ryoga walked in, he was greeted with the scent of his favorite herb.

"Ah, hey Ryoga! Just in time," Ranma said, offering a joint. Ryoga gratefully accepted the gift and hauled on it. Then the bandanna-clad boy smiled and said, "Ahhh... that hits the spot."

"We're really risking a lot, smokin' up like this in the dojo," Genma added, though he showed no signs of stopping when the joint was passed to him. "Oh well, if we get caught, it's the boy's fault, eh Ryoga?"

"Yup."

"HEY!!"

Genma and Ryoga laughed heartily. "Don't worry son," the stout man said, "If someone were to walk in on us right now we'd just put it out and say the smell was cheap cologne... well, hopefully Tendo don't come in, he'd know it if he saw it."

"Heh, it's a good thing Nabiki didn't come in when she lead me here or I would've been disappointed that I missed out," Ryoga mumbled.

"How about this for a buzz blast?" Genma said with a mischevious glint in his eyes, "If someone walks in the doors, whoever's holding the joint gets busted."

"Heh, your stupidity never ceases to amuse me Pop," Ranma laughed as he received the joint from his old man. The three of them continued to toke quickly and pass even faster as they watched to doors in an almost paranoid fashion. "By the way, was I hallucinating earlier? Mr. Tendo's head turned into a demon."

"Just your imagination, boy."

The joint went around three times, then Ranma held it up to his face and looked at it with bloodshot eyes. "If someone came in, I'd just throw it at you pop," he said with a grin.

"Gimme that!" Genma barked, then grabbed the joint between two fingers and tried to pull it from Ranma without ripping it.

"Hey I'm not done yet!" Ranma countered, keeping a firm grip on it.

"No, it's my turn!" Ryoga added, grabbing the doobie as well. They struggled with it, trying to get it for themselves when suddenly the door flew open. They all froze with stupified looks on their faces.

"Hey I just came to say... what the?" Akane said as she looked on. She strained her eyes to see what they were all holding. "What.. what's that?? And what's that funny smell?" she questioned.

"MEDITATION SESSION IS OVER!" Genma bellowed loudly, his glasses fogging over. "RECOMMENCE SPARRING!!"

After his quick outburst, Genma suddenly tackled Ranma to the ground. The joint rolled out of their hands and onto the dojo floor, where Ryoga picked it up and put it out on his hand.

"Sparring!!!" Ryoga yelled enthusiastically, then promptly started kicking Ranma in the rips and stomping on Genma's head. Suddenly Genma grabbed Ryoga's foot and lifted him off his feet, then pounded him into Ranma. The doob flew out of his hand onto the floor. Genma went for it, but tripped over the two bodies that he forgot existed.

"MINE!!" Ranma shouted, pushing the other two off of him and making a break for the half joint. As he reached down to grab it, he was body checked by Ryoga and sent sprawling across the dojo floor, then stopped when he reached the wall.

"I think not!" Ryoga told him as he reached for it, only to be tripped by Genma's wandering foot. His hand nicked the joint, making it roll further out of his reach. Ranma had by now recovered and lunged for it, then dodged a sudden kick from his father. Weaving around a quick series of punches, he leapt above him and kicked him in the back of the head, sending him to the ground.

"I got it!" Ranma said, as he grabbed the doob. He looked at it with starry eyes, when suddenly his wrist was kicked by Ryoga and it flew up into the air. All three of the stoned fighters leapt up for it. Ranma, being the best of the best in the air, booted both Ryoga and his old man to the ground, then pocketed the joint safely.

"HEY!!!" Akane nearly screamed, "You didn't answer me!! And what kind of sparring is that?!"

"Just good natured sparring, is all!" Genma replied humbly, leaping at Ranma. Ryoga soon followed and they erupted into a brawl.

Akane just groaned in disgust and pivoted on her heel, then stopped. "As I was saying," she said coldly, gaining the three boy's attention, "dinner is almost ready."

With that, she stomped out furiously. She didn't know what they were doing in there, probably up to no good, but for them to be so rude as to ignore her! "Hmph!"

"......." Genma supplied.

"......." Ranma followed.

"......." Ryoga finished.

"...THAT WAS TRIPPY!!!" Ryoga finally exclaimed, breaking the silence.

"Fuckin' right!" Ranma cried.

"Almost got busted on that lil' ordeal," Genma mumbled.

The three stood in silence for a while, before something hit them all at the same time.

All the of them yelled, "FOOOOOOOD!!!!" and then rushed out of the dojo.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

After spraying themselves down with cologne and putting visene in their eyes, they waited at the dinner table, the three sitting together with Ranma in the middle. When Kasumi served everyone, they dug in with no manners whatsoever. Occaisonally Ranma would parry Genma's wandering chopsticks with his own, only to have some portion of his food stolen by Ryoga. Then, when he'd try to parry Ryoga's, Genma would grab something.

"Whaddya's doin, teaming up on me!!?" Ranma burst, rising from the table. Then he facefaulted as the two other martial artists grabbed something else from his dish. "ARGGH!!"

Suddenly, the phone rang.

"I'll get it," Kasumi said, rising from her cushion. Everyone else continued to eat, until she returned. "Mr. Saotome, there's an odd man on the phone who wants to speak with you."

"Me?" Genma said, arching an eyebrow upwards. Kasumi nodded, her smile not once leaving her face.

Genma rose and went to answer the telephone. "'Ello?"

"Hey, Genma bruddah!" came a high pitched voice.

"Oh, hey! How's business?" Genma asked.

"Neva mind dat sheeit, you'se gots a big-assed mutha fuckin' problem boy!" came the other man's voice.

"Huh?" was all Genma could manage.

"Yeeah, man, two ugly ass fuckin' pigs came a stormin' in mah get up lookin' for yo punk ass!"

"Pigs?!" Genma shouted, although not loud enough for anyone else to hear.

"Das' right! And one of mah henchmen ratted on yo' ass! Now dey on da way 'dere right now! Betta hide 'n' shit or 'dey gonna bust yo ass!" the man ranted.

"Bah, I'll just kick their asses when they get here," Genma said egotistically.

"No way bro, 'dese fucka's know some phat fuckin' martial arts shit, fucked up mah boys!" he continued.

"They know martial arts??" Genma echoed.

"Yeeah!! I jus' said dat you bastid!! Gotta fuckin' prob with ya ears or whut?!"

"Never mind, thanks for the warning," said a slightly disturbed Genma.

"Aie, Take care o' yo sheeit and hide fo' fuck sakes, they be sum strong-assed mutha fuckin' 5-0!"

Genma was silent for a moment. "Tell me, was one of them fat, with dark hair and a moustache?"

"...Hell yeeah! How you know dat shit?! You in da cahoots wit' dem fuckin po-lice er what?!"

"Never mind, talk to you later," Genma said, hanging up abruptly. He trudged into the dining room, where everyone stopped eating and looked at him. "Ranma, Ryoga, come with me. We need to talk."

The two boys looked at eachother, then back at the stout man in the white gi.

"What's wrong, pops?" Ranma asked.

"Never mind! Just follow me," he replied, going upstairs to his room. The other two boys quickly followed him. When they reached the room, they sat in front of Genma.

"So what's the matter, pops? Got the flu or somethin'?" Ranma said.

"We have a big, big problem. Fuku and his boys are on the way here right now," Genma said, earning wide eyes from the other two, "and according to my aquaintance, they know martial arts."

"Whaddya mean, Fuku's comin'?!" Ryoga yelled. Suddenly, the three stoner's buzzes jumped into hyperdrive when there were cop sirens outside. They stopped in front of the Tendo residence, then came a very familiar voice, loudened by a... one of those things that looks like a horn that cops yell into when they've surrounded an area (I don't know what the hell they're called, so piss off...)..... Oh wait, I remember now, a megaphone!!

"Okay you three little shits! Get the fuck out here so I can lay an ass whoopin into ya's!!!"

"Fuku's... here..." Ranma said dumbfoundedly.

"Shall we fight?" Genma asked, clenching a fist to his side.

"Yeah!" Ranma and Ryoga said. They all got up, and ran downstairs and out the front door. Just outside of the gate, stood Fuku with his apprentice, Yamato. They had extremely unhappy looks on their faces.

By now, everyone else was looking outside to see what all the commotion was.

"I'm gonna beat the hell out of you all, then lock ya's the fuck up for what ya've put me through!" Fuku barked, clearly outraged.

"Nah fuck dat, we're gonna school yo' asses!" Ranma retorted confidently, getting into a ready stance. Ryoga, Genma, Fuku, and Yamato all followed suit with their own stances.

"Shall we find out?" Yamato said grimly, with a smirk.

"Yes we shall!" Ryoga bellowed.

"Be careful, I heard they've learned some good martial arts on their little journey," Genma said.

"WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE SAOTOME?!" Soun screamed.

"This'll be fun," Ranma said, hoping for a good workout. There was silence for a while, then they all charged at eachother, shouting battle cries and preparing for a war.

Upon getting just out of arms reach of eachother, the chapter suddenly came to an end. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm a prick, I know, but it's time for a doobie break.

END chapter 5.


	6. BUZZted! Part 2

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or the characters. All I own is some characters I made up (Officer Fuku, Officer Yamato) and this story.

_Quick joke: Why did the fish get kicked out of school? Cuz he was caught with sea-weed!! AHAHAhahaha.... yea that 1 was kinda lame._

_**The Brotherhood: Half Baked**_

**Chapter 6: BUZZted! Part 2**

"GYAHHHHHHHH!!" Fuku launched a massive kick, putting every ounce of fat-assed weight into it that he could possibly muster. Ryoga happened to be the unlucky culprit who received the blow on the chest, and the poor boy went soaring away.

Ranma and Genma both leapt back, not expecting THAT to happen. "What the hell?!" Genma shouted in confusion, then he was forced on the defensive when Yamato unleashed a series of kicks and punches. He parried all of them, then faught back with some punches of his own. Genma became frustrated when not one of his attacks connected.

Ranma leapt high into the air, quickly followed by officer Fuku. They both landed on the roof of the Tendo house and stared eachother down.

"You little shit," Fuku began, "I'm gonna creamate you!"

"Just try it!" Ranma retorted. Granting his request, Fuku charged forward with one arm raised. Ranma tensed up, then started dodging his opponent's attacks, getting a feel for how the fat cop fought. It wasn't long before Ranma got a cocky smirk on his face and he felt confident that Fuku wouldn't be able to touch him. The man obviously had some serious power behind his attacks, but he definitely wasn't much on speed compared to himself. 'Must be the donuts,' Ranma thought in hilarity.

Ducking under a mighty punch which made the cop's gut jiggle, Ranma quickly did a half somersault so he was standing on his hands and his legs were crunched up. After that, he launched both of his feet into the air, and either foot connected with Fuku's chin, sending the oinker stumbling backwards. As Ranma got back on his feet, he wasn't expecting Fuku to follow up on his attack so quickly, and almost took a massive punch to the face. However luck was on his side, the officer over-extended himself and staggered forward, giving Ranma just the opening he needed.

The pigtailed boy punched him in the kidney as hard as he could, then went around the fat man's side and kicked him in the back while in the air. The force of the kick combined with his forward momentum sent Fuku sprawling forward, while Ranma was sent soaring gracefully backwards. Still wearing a cocky grin, Ranma backflipped in the air and landed perfectly on his feet, then got into a defensive stance.

"How'd that feel?!" he taunted, getting a menacing growl from Fuku in return. The fat cop rose to his feet, then charged again. Ranma easily stepped around a side kick, then executed a roundhouse that connected with the back of Fuku's head.

The cop stumbled forward a little, then turned around. "HOLD STILL SO I CAN CUFF YOU GOD DAMN IT!!!" he squealed angrily, almost paralleling that of a whining child. His face was beat red and Ranma could of swore he saw a bit of steam coming out of his ears.

The stoner just smiled when Fuku plowed through the air towards him again.

This time, Fuku went low. Ranma leapt over the other man's sweep kick, but Fuku was predicting that and swiftly grabbed both of his feet, then twirled him around before slamming him onto the roof. A few of the roof tiles crumbled downwards, and before they knew it they were both laying on top of the dining table, Fuku on top of Ranma. The table gave way under their combined weights and it too collapsed. Ranma groaned as Fuku's weight pressed down on him.

"Heh, I have you now you little shit!" the police man said triumphantly, "Now hold still!"

"What are you doing to my house!" roared an enraged Soun, who had just arrived at the scene with his daughters. Other then a quick glance, Fuku paid no attention as he concentrated on keeping a struggling Ranma on the ground.

"School of Martial Arts Police Academy special technique; Blinded by the Light!" Fuku suddenly proclaimed. With that, he grabbed a small flashlight out of his pocket and forced Ranma's eye to stay open, then switched it on. The light it emitted was brilliantly bright, and Ranma couldn't help but scream in agony.

Fuku's eyes suddenly widened in realization. "His eyes are still dialated under direct light.." he said to himself, "You hoodlum! You're fuckin' high right NOW!!"

Ranma finally mustered up the strength to get the tub of lard off of him, and then the pigtailed pothead rolled outside. Fuku was hot on his tail, and when Ranma got back to his feet he was forced to block some hard punches, leaving his forearms feeling very sore. In an attempt to escape, the pigtailed boy gracefully leapt back onto the roof, where he turned around and got into a defensive stance. His right eye was now practically blind, and it had a puffy sensation to it that was distracting him.

Fuku thought. 'He's stoned right now, so I can use that against him.'

"COME ON!!" yelled Ranma impatiently, "GET YOUR FAT ASS UP HERE!!! YA PIG!!"

Fuku ignored his own anger, when suddenly a great idea hit him. "SHADDUP!!!" he barked back, then leapt towards the roof. But he didn't quite make it... and he only managed to grab the edge of the roof.

He attempted to pull himself up, with a very strained look on his face. "God... damn it!" he cried.

Ranma gave him a skeptical look, complete with a crooked grin. Fuku was huffing in frustration, then he continued. "Fuckin'... weight! Why doesn't that... stairmaster ever WORK?!"

Ranma couldn't help it after that. He reared his head back a burst out into laughter, pointing at the cop. "BAAAHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" he guffawed, "YOUR SUCH A FAT ASS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA--"

The end of Ranma's laugh was cut off by an enormous punch to his solar plexus. The boy nearly folded in half under the sheer brute force of it, and some spittle left his mouth as the wind was knocked right out of him. He fell to the ground, trying eagerly to breathe.

Fuku didn't relent either. He continued to punch Ranma in the exact same spot over and over again. The boy emitted nothing but choking sounds and the pain threatened to take over and throw him into unconciousness any minute.

When the fat cop felt his arm beginning to tire, he then lifted the boy to his feet and give him a side kick to the face that sent him flying in the air. Grinning triumphantly, he leapt after Ranma, and balled both of his hands up into a double fist to deliver the finishing blow.

'WHOOSH' was all that was heard when the blow passed through nothing but thin air.

"I'll... get... you... for... that..!" Ranma groaned, still struggling for breath. The pigtailed boy danced gracefully in the air around Fuku's attempted blows. He twisted around one more kick before elbowing him in the face.

"This is it!" Ranma tried to yell, but he was still suffering from lack of air. He reared his arm back, and then let it fly at full force towards Fuku's solar plexus.

Then, his eyes widened in mortification when he couldn't remove it from the cop's jiggling gut.

"Feh," Fuku muttered, "You missed my vital spot!! Martial Arts Police Academy secret technique! Big Bad Bodyslam!!!" the officer yelled. With that, he curled into a ball, then straightened quickly, shifting all of his momentum downwards. Fuku then shifted around until Ranma was directly beneath him.

"You're finished!" Fuku exclaimed. Ranma knew he was too, because his fist felt like it was trapped in an endless mound of suction. He looked down to see where he was landing; hopefully it wouldn't be painful. Then his eyes widened in shock. They were heading right for...!

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Genma and Yamato continued to trade blows after Ranma and Fuku left the site. They ignored the Tendos' yelling, only focusing on the fight. Blow after blow made it passed either one's defenses, but..

Genma leapt back and went through what was happening in his head. 'He has me outmatched in speed, but not power,' he thought, 'Every blow that I land, he lands two, and every blow he dodges, he gets even more solid hits through my defenses. I have to come up with a way to get passed his speed!'

Genma knew that his greater power meant nothing if he couldn't touch him, and he had barely landed any actually good hits, the rest had merely brushed against the scrawny man's figure. On top of that, the times he did manage to get a good strike on Yamato the other man shook it off like it was a mosquito bite.

He blocked a few kicks and punches from his opponent, then ducked under a well timed hook kick and launched an uppercut. Yamato leaned backwards, narrowly dodging the blow, and as he did he brought his foot up and it connected with Genma's chin. The stout man stumbled back a bit, then leapt forward.

"What is going ON here?!" Akane bellowed, trying to get their attention. Then she absently wondered where Ranma went, hadn't he been there just a minute ago?

"Oh my.." Kasumi added as Genma received another kick, this time with enough force to lift him off of his feet.

'Argh!' the larger martial artist mused as he managed to land upright, 'I can't get through! If only I were on shrooms or completely hammered, I wouldn't even feel the pain, and I could make short work of this joker!'

Genma leapt over a sweep kick, and then another. Then he saw a perfect opportunity when Yamato tried to throw a karate chop aimed for his skull. He brought his arms up and crossed them together just before it connected, then turned them around and interlocked his fingers, then locked his wrists. With a mighty reef, he pulled the officer towards him and lifted his leg for a knee to the gut. Yamato jumped and somersaulted over the offending leg, wincing as his arm twisted in an awkward position.

Genma hadn't been expecting that, but it didn't matter. He let his raised foot touch the ground, then pivoted on it and used his other foot to give Yamato a painful roundhouse to the nose. Upon connection, he unlocked his wrists and let Yamato fly.

The cop rolled with the blow and landed on his feet before wiping the trickle of blood under his nose away. He sneered at Genma, then charged forward, prepared to give him a pounding for making a person of law bleed.

Genma dodged, left, right, left, right. Then he ducked under a hook kick and repeated his actions as before, with an uppercut. Just as he thought, Yamato did the same thing when he leaned away from it and brought his foot up. This time, Genma caught his leg and was prepared to toss him into the Tendo wall when Yamato leapt up with his other leg and caught Genma off guard with a kick to the side of Genma's neck. The stout man's head bobbed to the side, nearly bouncing off of his own shoulder.

Yamato followed up with a side kick to the chest that sent the other man stumbling back. However Genma did not let go of his leg. The officer caught himself before falling to the ground and launched another side kick, this time aimed at Genma's face. He tilted his head off to the right and let the cop's foot soar passed him.

Then, using Yamato's momentum against him, he began to spin him around and around, until finally he let go. The rookie cop slammed into the concrete wall surrounding the house, then fell off to reveal a human shaped crater.

Genma Saotome smirked triumphantly, but it quickly vanished when Yamato was again on his feet. Swiftly, Genma brought his arms up to deflect a few punches. He smirked again. Yamato was obviously in pain and tiring, because his punches weren't even half as strong as they used to be.

He kneed Yamato in the chin, lifting the man off of the ground. While he was in mid air, the stout man flew forward with a punch, which again sent Yamato into the wall. The cop left another crater over his previous one, making sort of a criss-cross human shaped pattern.

"SAOTOME!! PLEASE, DON'T DAMAGE MY WALL!" Soun Tendo wailed from the background. Genma paid him no heed as he cautiously advanced towards the cop. Yamato stood shakily to his feet and got in a defensive stance.

"Heh, I've already won this match!" Genma claimed loudly, then followed up with a hearty, drug-enhanced laugh. Then, out of no where, he heard a loud crash. He ignored it as the Tendo's took off to investigate, and stood his ground. He waited for a while, and then just as he was about to lay another beating into the officer in front of him, he heard his son cry out loudly in agony. He stopped what he was doing and turned towards the house, where the scream came from.

This provided the perfect opening for Yamato, and without hestitation he leapt forwards. Genma didn't even turn to look, and he received a powerful flying round house to the neck. This time, it nailed his windpipe and he gagged for air while bringing his hands to his neck.

Yamato didn't stop for a second; he was all over Genma with a huge combination of different punches and kicks. Finally, Genma got his act together and desperately kicked out. It only nicked his opponent, but as Yamato leapt backwards it gave him enough time to get a little bit of his strength and wind back

Genma began backpeddaling when Yamato started throwing a bunch of punches and kicks again. The man had obviously gotten a second wind because his blows were back to normal.

Of course, that didn't change the fact that they were both in extreme pain.

Suddenly, Genma saw a wide opening. He crouched low and struck out with the palm of his hand, catching Yamato in the gut. The man staggered back a little before he was forced to weave around some very close punches. Finally catching a break, Yamato managed to get free of the onslaught and leap backwards.

They both dropped into a defensive stance to catch their breath, Genma breathing much harder and by the looks of things outmatched. Suddenly, Yamato noticed something. He grinned, then dropped his stance completely, getting an odd look from Genma.

"You have been defeated," he said.

"What are you talking about?!" Genma hollared back, although he felt a little nervous. "I'm just getting started!" he bellowed. His aching muscles and bruises didn't agree with him though.

"You have been defeated," Yamato repeated, a bit louder this time. Genma shook his head, thinking he was just buying time for himself when suddenly he heard a voice cry out from above.

"WATCH OUT!!!" someone hollared. Genma looked up, just in time to be flattened by what he saw was his son and what could have been a hippopautamus.

The ground cracked and shook as the Tendos' rushed back to the scene.

Fuku stood up and looked at the two unconcious bodies on the ground. With no hestitation, he cuffed them both. Each officer carried a body towards the cruiser that lay beyond the gate.

Soun blasted towards to two. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he cried out, "YOU CAN'T TAKE MY DAUGHTER'S FIANCE AND MY BEST FRIEND AWAY!!!!"

"Sorry, bucko," the slimmer officer said, "but these two are wanted by the feds. Better luck next time."

Soun stared inrediculously as his best friend and his best friend's son were hauled into the back of a cruiser and taken away. "WHY!!! WHY!!! THE TRADGEDY!!!" he babbled, then collapsed onto the ground in a fountain of tears. His three daughters soon came to his aid.

"Now, now, father..." Kasumi consoled, although her smile wasn't quite as genuine as it normally was, "I'm sure it's all a big misunderstanding."

"Yeah, yeah!! A misunderstanding, that must be it!!" Soun blurted desperately, "They'll be back in no time when those nice police officers figure out they're wrong!"

Nabiki and Akane just stared at their dad, who's emotions had shifted from sorrow to desperation in less then a millisecond. Then Akane sighed.

"What did he mean?" she said quietly, mostly to herself. She remembered the bigger officer saying something about Ranma being high. That couldn't be right... could it? Ranma wasn't like THAT. He was just a pervert, that's all.

When Ryoga woke up, he was in pain. His chest hurt like a son-of-a-bitch from where it had been kicked, plus his back and head had been dealt punishment upon landing. Suddenly, he rememebered something. There was still a fight going on!!

With great effort, he lifted himself to his feet and jumped onto a nearby house. He looked around.

"Where's the Tendo Dojo..?" he asked nobody. Receiving no answer, the bandanna-clad boy started leaping from rooftop to rooftop in search for the dojo. He heard sirens in the distance, and subconciously decided to go away from the sound. A few minutes later, he landed on the Tendo house. He noticed a hole in the ceiling, and jumped down it.

"AHHHH!!!" Akane, Nabiki and Soun shouted when he just suddenly appeared.

"AHHHH!!!" Ryoga shouted back, startled by the uncharacteristic reactions he received. Then he looked around and noted that there were four absenses. He dreaded where two of them might be, and he didn't want to ask but he did anyways.

"Where's Ranma and his dad?" he asked. The room was silent for a moment before Nabiki spoke up.

"They just got dragged away by the cops," she said nonchalently, "you wouldn't happen to know why, would you?"

"WHAAAAT?!" Ryoga roared, ignoring the girl's question completely. "You mean they LOST the FIGHT?!"

"That about sums it up," Nabiki replied. Ryoga's dread turned to shock; how could Ranma and Genma, two of the best martial artists he knew, LOSE to a pair of PIGS?

"And what's all this about Ranma being 'high'?" Soun suddenly asked, "I heard one of the officers say that."

'Uh oh,' Ryoga thought, 'busted!!' He tried desperately to think of something.

"Umm... I don't know?" he lied, although he managed to not act stupid. His buzz increased a notch when he saw Nabiki cock an eyebrow upwards, then look at him as if she knew something.

"Does Ranma smoke marijuana?" Akane suddenly asked blatantly.

"What?!" Ryoga exclaimed, taking a few steps back and getting off of the broken dining table, "Er, well, I don't think he does. I've never actually witnessed--" he stopped for a split second when Kasumi walked in, carrying a bag full of weed in one hand and two bags of either shrooms or hash in the other. "Ohhhh SHIT!" he suddenly burst, then recovered when he noticed the odd glances he was receiving, "I mean, umm!"

"Father, look at what I found in Mr. Saotome's backpack!" Kasumi said as she regarded the bags. "...What is it?"

The three other Tendo's jumped up to look at it.

"They are... drugs..." Soun said. The monotony of his voice made Ryoga's pulse jump into hyperdrive, so he turned around and tip toed his way towards the back yard. Suddenly he was swarmed by Tendos.

"RYOGA!!" Akane shouted, "WHAT IS THIS STUFF DOING IN OUR HOUSE?!?!?!"

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, SON??!" Soun hollared, in full demon head mode.

"What do you think your doing, bringing this garbage into our house!?" Kasumi followed up, totally un-Kasumi like.

"Heh, I didn't think they had it in 'em! Explains a lot though," Nabiki finished.

Ryoga fell onto his butt, then used his hands to backpedal his way into the back yard. "GET BACK HERE AND EXPLAIN!" Soun growled as he grabbed Ryoga by the shirt and tossed him back inside. Ryoga shrank under the glares. Two of them were furious, one was more disappointed then angry, and one was overly amused. He shifted his gaze towards the broken table. They all waited expectantly and poor Ryoga thought he was gonna shit himself any minute now. Right now everything was in his hands, and if he messed up it was back too walking every day.

"Well?!" Soun said, breaking the eerie silence.

"What?" Ryoga said stupidly.

"Tell us the truth!" Akane yelled.

Ryoga sighed. "Alright, you want the truth?" he said.

"Yes!" Soun yelled impatiently.

"Okay. I'll tell you," Ryoga said grimly. Suddenly, the lost boy had a rare intelligence streak as his fried braincells worked together. "The truth is... Mr. Saotome, Ranma and I were going to sell all of that to pay you back for the damages he'd caused to your house...." Ryoga looked up for a split second, then averted his gaze back to the broken table and continued. "We didn't want you to find out, but I guess we all figured it'd be the easiest way to pay you back for the damages done. I'm sorry."

With that, Ryoga crouched down and bowed until he was almost kissing the floor. "I guess the cops caught on.. I'm so sorry!!!" he bellowed, then started sobbing. Of course it was all fake.

"So... that's how Saotome was gonna pay me back!" Soun cried, almost happily.

"Oh! I'm so sorry for yelling at you Ryoga," Kasumi said guiltily, "...you were only trying to help out."

Ryoga continued to sob, this time more regretfully.

"Wait a minute!" Akane suddenly said, "But that officer said Ranma was high!" And then, she remembered something else. "And back in the dojo earlier today! That weird smell!"

Ryoga suddenly snickered and almost broke out into hysterical laughter. His back began convulsing in silent laughter as the boy tried to hold it in.

"Is he... laughing?" Nabiki asked, almost disgustedly. At that, Ryoga let out another sobbing sound.

"Of course not, Nabiki!" Soun said. "I know sobbing when I hear it."

That made Ryoga snicker again, this time louder, and his back started convulsing even more in silent laughter. 'Man!' he thought, 'What a dope!' He was really glad no one could see his face right now.

"You see? That was a sob." said Soun wisely. Ryoga snickered again, but this time much quieter.

"Ryoga, answer me!" Akane said again.

Ryoga finally regained his composure and sat up, then wiped a few stray crocodile tears from his eyes. "I-i'm sorry I broke down like that, everyone," he stalled, trying to buy some thinking time. Soun and Kasumi had sympathetic looks on their faces, Akane's was somewhat curious and Nabiki's was unreadable.

"Ryoga, it was a really sweet thought, but don't you know that dealing with that stuff is wrong?" Kasumi chided, causing him to wince.

"I'm... sorry..." Ryoga said once again.

"HEY!!! Is everyone ignoring me here?!" Akane yelled.

"Akane.. what you smelled in the dojo was..." Ryoga looked into her eyes and bit his cheek, trying to come up with an answer. "Was...."

"Was what?" she asked. Now everyone looked curious.

"Was.... an imported cigarette!!" Ryoga told them, for some odd reason very loudly, "Ranma's dad didn't want anyone to know that he smoked..."

"We already know that he smokes," Nabiki said, recalling when Genma had been puffing away at a cigarette earlier when that amazon girl was around. "But yeah, those cigarettes did smell funny..."

"You know? Well then I guess there's nothing to worry about!" Ryoga said with a cheap chuckle, grinning nervously.

"But why were you and Ranma trying to take it from him in the dojo?" Akane said, recalling how they were all holding onto it.

"Uhh.. er.. well, we're both worried about his health as a martial artist and stuff..." Ryoga said, looking downcast, "but we didn't want to admit that we were worried about the foolish panda."

He almost, almost, cracked right then. The humor and oddity of this entire situation was just too much! Ryoga was beginning to thoroughly enjoy this.

"Then why did the nice officer say Ranma was high?" Kasumi chimed in, still looking curious.

"I don't know, I wasn't here," Ryoga said almost too calmly, then he looked to the table again. "That 'officer' obviously needs his eyes checked, I couldn't see Ranma smoking a marijuana cigarette" Ryoga said, 'without his good ol' buddy Ryoga,' he added mentally. 'Ranma, Genma you two are gonna owe me BIG TIME for this!'

There was an eerie silence. "Oh... well, I guess that explains everything," Akane said, a little flustered. She didn't know why, but all instincts told her not to believe Ryoga. However, she didn't believe the lost boy would lie while looking directly into her eyes without studdering. Plus, he had been honest with her before.

"Well then," Ryoga said, rising to his feet. "I'm going to go sort this mess out at the police station. Later!"

And with that, the lost boy took off out back and leapt over the wall, then picked a random direction and ran.

Nabiki knew something was up. She wasn't as stupid as Akane or her father, and wasn't as oblivious as Kasumi. She knew one thing though, she wouldn't rest until she was in control of the situation. 'Something tells me he's bending the truth quite a bit, if not breaking it.'

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:( Buzz is wearin' off :( / Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Ranma and Genma were scowling in the back seat of the cruiser when they woke up, held in place by their very, very tough handcuffs. Ranma didn't even think that they were made of steel, because he could have broken them if they were. They were too heavy to be steel anyways.

"Haha!!! I got you two!!" Fuku stated triumphantly, "and once we get you to the slammer, I'm gonna find your bandanna-clad friend, and then it's off to rot for all of you! GYAAAAAAAAAHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!"

"Jeez, you don't have to laugh like a MANIAC!" his partner said rudely. Fuku shot him a dirty glare, but ignored him and continued on his way.

"I have to pee," Ranma said.

"Shaddup," Fuku replied.

"I have to poo," Genma added.

"QUIT YER GOD DAMN COMPLAINING!!!" Fuku bellowed angrily. He turned at an intersection and continued to scope out the streets for Ryoga in case he was following them. "Piss and shit your pants for all I care."

Ranma and his dad were both growling, wanting nothing more then to pound the fat cop with the dumb mustache.

Suddenly, all of them heard a dull thud on top of the roof of the car. "Huh?" the four said in unison, each wondering what the noise could have been. Then a similar thud came from the back, on top of the trunk. Yamato, Ranma and Genma turned around and looked to see what it was, Fuku being to busy driving to bother, merely glanced at the rear-view, and the four saw a pair of familiar legs with a pair of familiar green pants, as well as a pair of familiar yellow strings tied around the familiar pants.

"That's...!" Yamato exclaimed, to surprised to continue. Without any warning, a familiar foot suddenly smashed through the back window, then kicked upwards to boot the roof off. All it did was make a hole in it though.

Fuku slammed on the breaks, forcing the boy forwards, but his leg got caught in the hole and he did a face plant into the flashing cherries. He pushed against the roof to straighten himself out again.

Fuku and Yamato immediately jumped out of the car, shouting various curses and protests.

"Shaddup!" Ryoga yelled, then reached into the destroyed back window and grabbed Ranma by his pigtail, and Genma by his gi. With a mighty haul, he got both of them out of the back and let them down on their feet. In an instant, they were running like mad, followed by two enraged officers.

"GET BACK HERE!!" Fuku called after them.

"Ruuuuun!" Ranma yelled, then made a break for a rooftop. Genma followed, and Ryoga hopped on a different roof via bad sense of direction. Fuku followed the pigtailed pothead and the boisterous bald blunt smoker, while Yamato went after the directionally challenged dope addict.

Ranma and Genma continued to hop across roof tops, madly in pursuit by Fuku. Luckily, he wasn't gaining on them and it wasn't long before the two lost him. Breathing heavily, they both walked into an alleyway and sat down. Surprisingly, it didn't take very long for Ryoga to show up. He walked into the alley and looked around the corner to make sure he had lost Yamato, before moving to sit beside Ranma and Genma.

"Hey guys," he said, huffing for air.

"Hey, thanks for bustin' us out like that," Ranma replied. "Now all we gotta do is figure out how to get these stupid cuffs off."

"Just break 'em," Ryoga told Ranma nonchalently.

"Can't, they're stronger then steel," Ranma replied. Ryoga tested Ranma's theory, trying to snap the handcuffs off. They wouldn't break, no matter how hard he tried.

"It might not be an easy task," Genma suddenly piped in, "but I think we're going to have to grab the keys from those two pigs."

"What's with them all of a sudden?" Ryoga asked, "Before, Fuku couldn't even be able to lay a finger on any of us, and i don't think his partner was a martial artist before..."

"Yes.. that's very odd," Genma replied, absently scratching at his wrists. "We've been practicing the art for many years now," he said, "and yet in less than half a year, they're suddenly equal to us in skill." Genma raised his hands to scratch his chin. Unfortunately his hands were behind him so he couldn't. "That's... weird."

"Yeah... that IS weird," Ranma agreed. "I heard him mention something about Martial Arts Police Academy or something... do you know what that's about pop?"

"I've never heard of it," Genma replied seriously, "but it must truly be a formidable school if they can increase their skills so much in such a short time."

"Do you think Mr. Tendo knows anything about it?" Ryoga asked.

"I doubt it, most of his training was with myself and the master, and we never came across such a thing," Genma responded.

"Master? What master?" Ranma asked.

"N-ne.. never mind," Genma replied nervously, "let the past be the past."

A long silence hung over the three, the only sounds being the wind flowing by and a few birds chirping overhead. The light had almost faded completely. Suddenly, Ryoga balled one hand into a fist and smacked it into his other opened hand, as though he had just reached a conclusion. "I know!" he said, earning odd glances from the other two, "follow me!"

Ranma and Genma exchanged glances, but got up and followed Ryoga out of the alley. The three walked up to a fence, where just beyond it lay a canal full of water. Without warning, Ryoga lifted Ranma up and threw him in, then did the same with Genma.

(Splash!)

"HEY!!" a now female Ranma shouted, bringing a fist up for emphasis, "what was that for?!"

"Growf!" Genma followed, holding up a sign that read [Yeaah!! What was it for, huh?].

Then at the same time they both realized their cuffs had slid/broke off. They gave Ryoga apologetic looks. "Never mind," Ranma-chan said.

Soon, they were all walking towards the Tendo Dojo. "I never thought of it before," Ranma said, "but I bet we could use these curses to hide from those two."

[Grate idea!!!] the panda's sign read.

Upon reaching the Tendo Wall, Ryoga suddenly stopped. "Uh oh," he said out loud.

"What?" Ranma pressed.

"Uh.. we have a problem guys," Ryoga said, then began explaining what happened when he had arrived at the Tendo house earlier. Genma and Ranma stared at him unblinking, before Genma held up a sign. [We are scrood].

"It's spelled 's-c-r-e-w-w-e-d', Mr. Saotome," Ryoga said, earning an exasperated huff from the panda and a raised eyebrow from Ranma in return. "I guess they didn't have too much of a problem with us selling it, for some odd reason, but they don't like it in the house. We're gonna have to be extra careful."

"Guess so," Ranma added, looking a bit downcast. She was hoping that if the Tendos' found out maybe they would be able to come to terms with her habit and understand, but that didn't seem like the case. According to Ryoga, even Kasumi was angry about the fact that they might have been smoking dope, which hurt inside to even picture. Ranma knew that Ryoga, her pop and herself were in for a rough ride and a lot of stretching the truth, but if it came to that, then she couldn't help it.

The three began walking along the wall towards the gate, dreading each step. There was gonna be a lot of chaos, that much was for sure.

"Jeez," Ranma muttered under her breath, "not even two full days and we're already attempting to freeze hell over with a snowball."

With that in mind, she followed her pop through the gate and towards the front door. The three stood before it, each steeling themselves for what was to come, when Genma finally reached a large paw to the door and opened it.

**END chapter 6.**


	7. The Path of a True Pothead is Fraught wi...

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or the characters. All I own is some characters I made up (Officer Fuku, Officer Yamato) and this story.

_Quick Joke: What has a hundred balls and screws old ladies? Bingo. HAHAAHAHAHHA LOL!!!!.... yea that was gross._

_**The Brotherhood: Half Baked**_

**Chapter 7: The Path of a True Pothead is Fraught with Peril**

Genma slid the door open as quietly as possible, then peered in. He didn't see anybody, so he sighed in relief before turning to his left and holding a sign up.

[You go first.]

"I don't think so, pop!" Ranma-chan exclaimed. The panda nodded his head yes. Ranma turned to her left, facing Ryoga. "Well, you've already been there and you know the story better, so you go first."

"Ummm... no," Ryoga said, "I don't want to do that again!" he bellowed, recalling how he had to fake crying. Then the three of them heard Kasumi's sweet voice saying , 'Oh! A guest!'

Thinking fast, Ryoga and Genma both pushed the pigtailed girl inside, then slammed the door shut before she had the time to protest. The two fled and hid in the nearby bushes, then peaked out and strained their ears so they could hear what happened.

Meanwhile, Ranma tripped and nearly ate the telephone, but managed to steady herself by throwing her hands out and catching herself with the wall. She was about to sigh in relief, but then Kasumi walked around the corner and faced her. Ranma staggered back a little and looked at her face to see if she was angry.

Ranma-chan was a little baffled that she was smiling like she always does. "Hello, Ranma. Did you get everything sorted out with the police men?" she asked.

"Umm... y-yeah! Yeah, e-everything is fine now, it's just th-that those two ehh... officers are a little.... stupid?" Ranma babbled incoherently. Kasumi blinked, then blinked again with an odd expression on her face. Then she smiled again.

"It's nice of you, Ryoga and Mr. Saotome to help out by selling drugs, but... don't you think it's wrong to do that?" she asked. Ranma winced, and tried to come up with a descent answer.

"Uh, we just.. well... yeah, sure it's wrong and stuff, but.. eh heh.. it's easy to make money like that and uhh.. that way it won't take as long to pay your dad back," Ranma smirked a little, half impressed by his answer.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just get a job?" Kasumi asked, throwing Ranma off track. Suddenly the door opened to reveal a large panda and a bandanna-clad boy.

"Growf, growf growf," the panda said, holding up a sign that read [Ranma and Reeoga are still in skool], and then another one that read [It'd take to long for me to do it by myself.]

"Hey, you're getting slightly better at spelling pops," Ranma-chan said while Ryoga growled about his name being spelled wrong. Genma held up a third sign. [Tank yu sun.]

"Never mind," Ranma remarked, smacking her head with her palm.

"Oh yes, father said he wanted to speak to you Mr. Saotome," Kasumi said, "he's in the dining room." The panda nodded and trodded with Kasumi towards the dining room. Ranma and Ryoga looked at eachother, then towards the stairs.

"Growf!" screeched the panda, holding up a sign that read [Are you two coming????]. The two teenagers shook their heads furiously then bolted up the stairs before Genma could do anything about it. The panda hung his head low and trudged towards his fate.

Meanwhile, Ranma and Ryoga entered their room, then closed and locked the door. Both of them sat down and stared forward, towards a somewhat burnt back pack. Simulataniously, a grin began to spread on their faces.

"Wanna smoke one?" Ranma asked.

"You read my mind."

With that being said, Ranma crawled over to the backpack and pulled out a baggy of weed and crawled back. Ryoga whipped out a pack of papers as Ranma studied the bag. "Hey, Ryoga?" she asked.

"Hmm?"

"Wasn't this bag almost full when we left it?" she questioned.

"Yeah, why?" Ryoga asked, not really paying attention.

"It's only half full. Hey, what's that?" Ranma wondered out loud, spotting a while slip of paper in the bag. Ryoga turned to look as she opened the baggy and pulled out a folded note. She unfolded it and read it aloud. "Saotome, don't worry, I'm on your side. Tell Ryoga I'm sorry, I had to put up a good show so the girl's wouldn't suspect anything. Rolled a big one for later. Tendo."

The two stoners turned and looked at eachother before laughing out loud. When they stopped, Ranma got an idea. "Take every opportunity to the fullest, eh Ryoga?"

"Huh?" Ryoga said, genuinely puzzled. Ranma grabbed a large handful of weed before slipping the note back in, then put the bag of weed back in her father's back pack. She stuck her handful in her own backpack, saving enough for a joint before she walked back to Ryoga and sat down. Then she began rolling.

"So Mr. Tendo's in the ok. That's good, it solves a lot of our problems, eh Ranma?" Ryoga said. Ranma mumbled her agreement as she sealed the joint and tightened it.

"No filter," she said. "Well, lets go outside, last thing we need is fer someone to walk in and bust us." Ryoga nodded and they both got up and started for the stairs.

"Speaking of which," said Ryoga, "what are we gonna do about Fuku? He's probably gonna come back you know."

"I guess we got these curses fer a reason," Ranma-chan said, smirking to herself. For once, she was a little thankful for the whole transformation when splashed with cold water thing. The two descended down the stairs, then walked outside. They toured into a tight spot between the dojo and the wall, being careful to avoid a few thorn bushes, then Ryoga gave Ranma a lighter. She sparked the doob up and began puffing away. They proceeded in silence until the doob was finished. When Ranma-chan chucked it, they both sat down in the cramped area, each letting their thoughts drift.

Ryoga was thinking about where his life was at the moment, and the people in it. He hadn't had any friends in the past, everyone always made fun of him. Plus he rarely saw his family, and together that was enough to get him into the drugs and alcohol. He simply wanted to forget about all of his problems and run from it all.

That was, until Ranma showed up. True, they hadn't got off at the beginning, but when he saw Ranma smoking a joint he couldn't help but walk up to him and ask for a puff. Basically, he had a joint to thank for his and Ranma's friendship. It was kind of ironic, but he believed that if it hadn't been for that fateful day he would have probably made his life long goal to destroy Ranma's happiness.

Ranma's dad was kind of an idiot in Ryoga's opinion, but he was fun to get high with. He remembered the time over four months ago when they had been drinking at his and Ranma's house, and Genma puked, then forgot about it and stepped right in it. That was hilarious. Plus he admired how the man seemed to have drug hookups all over the place. He still didn't know how he afforded it all, though. 'Oh well, let it be a secret, so long as I'm getting in on the doobage,' he thought.

Fuku and his partner were likely to cause problems for himself and his stoned sidekicks. That much was obvious, considering they had tracked the three all the way to Nerima. He didn't understand why the fat ass kept grumbling about getting pay back for breaking his nose when he was the one who did it to himself. But it didn't matter, he figured Fuku was just crooked like any other cop.

Lastly, the Tendo's are what Ryoga would call an enigma. The more he thought about it, the more he thought of the words 'disfunctional family'. Hah, not like he could judge, considering his family rarely even saw eachother. But it was too weird how none of them had anything in common. Akane was always angry and blatent, although she had a rare niceness to her at times. Nabiki was always manipulative and subtle. Kasumi was always sweet and kind. And Soun was always... just Soun... an over emotional disaster.

Well, the three Tendo girls did have something in common. They were all good looking. Of course, good looking by different means.

'Argh, why am I thinking this!' Ryoga mentally scolded himself, 'I shouldn't be thinking like that, it's not like I got engaged to any of them.'

Ryoga let out a nearly silent sigh, then looked at Ranma. She looked deep in thought, so he decided to just sit there for a while and think more.

Ranma meanwhile, was replaying her fight with Fuku over in her head. She didn't understand; four months ago he had been like a fly, inferior to her in every way. There had to be something else... but she couldn't find anything out of the ordinary. So instead, she focused on Fuku's strengths and weaknesses.

The man was obviously a lot stronger then herself, even her old man. And back when Ranma admistered the so-called final blow, it was like she punched a mountain of man-eating jello. Obviously body blows weren't effective at all, so the only way to defeat him would be by head shots. Also, he definitely had brains, because as soon as Fuku found out he was stoned the officer took advantage of it, and that was what ended the fight in defeat. He didn't have any trouble getting on the roof when she was distracted. It was so frustrating, losing to that fat bastard.

Ranma continued to ponder about it. He was good in strength, endurance and brains. So what were his weaknesses?

His defensive and offensive tactics weren't that great, Ranma managed to penetrate past them with ease with an exeption of when Fuku managed to grab his feet. That was when the fight when downhill. Also, he was really slow, that much was obvious. Those 'Martial Arts Police Academy' techniques he had were sort of stupid, but they were effective none the less. He'd have to watch out for those.

Ranma finally came to a conclusion. As long as he was cautious about it, he'd be able to wear Fuku down with quick punches and kicks, and when the fat ass was finally on the verge of exaustion, he'd deliver the finishing blow right between his eyes. So basically, the countermeasure was to never initiate an attack until the last moment, using his speed to his full advantage. That should do it!

"Hey Ranma," Ryoga suddenly said, destroying the peaceful silence. "I just got the funniest idea."

"Huh?"

"Tomorrow we should spice dinner up with some mush."

There was and eerie silence in the air before Ranma burst out giggling. "Yeah! Great idea man, maybe that'll make them appreciate drugs a bit more!"

"Err.. R-ranma?" Ryoga stammered, "I was just kidding."

"You were?"

"Yeah..." Ryoga said. There was an awkward silence. "But now I wanna do it anyways!"

"Heh... heheheheheh.. tomorrow's gonna be fun!!" Ranma-chan exclaimed.

Ryoga grinned. "Yeah, tomorrow's gonna be trippy," he said.

"Fuckin' right," Ranma-chan replied. Then she turned to Ryoga. "Wanna train before bed? Chances are Fuku will be back at some point, so we might as well get in as much practice as possible."

Ryoga nodded. They both jumped out the window and crawled around the bushes into the open. "Hold on, I'm gonna go get some hot water. On second thought, I'm gonna take a quick bath beforehand. Punching that fatass made me feel kinda gross," Ranma said. Ryoga nodded again and they both went their seperate ways, Ranma towards the house, and Ryoga towards... the front gate.

Ranma entered, took her shoes off and started up the stairs to get a clean change of clothes. She grabbed a red chinese shirt and black pants, identical to the ones she was currently wearing. Ranma-chan went back downstairs and began walking to the bathroom. Upon passing the dining room, she looked in to see her father playing a game of shogi with Mr. Tendo, and Nabiki watching tv while munching on some crackers while giving the occasional glance towards the two playing shogi.

The red head tip-toed by in a paranoid fashion, then managed to make her way to the bathroom with no interruptions. She entered then stripped her clothes off and chucked them in the hamper. After a cold rinse, she slid the door open that led to the furo, and eagerly hopped in, enjoying the sensation of his manhood finally returning. He was a little disappointed about the buzz loss, but that was alright for now. He relaxed and let his tense muscles soak in the warmth of the steamy water, without a care in the world.

Little did he know that there was still a roached joint in the pocket of his pants from back when he was in the dojo, and now they were in the hamper.

Soun stared intently at the shogi board, pondering his next move. His opponent had the better of him this game, and he was running out of options. After long moments of staring without moving an inch, he finally moved his rook to protect his king.

The panda move a bishop, and ended the match, while holding up a sign that read [Checkmait]. The only way Soun would have been able to save his king would be to move it where he just moved his rook, which was impossible. Biting his bottom lip, he turned to look at the panda's smug face.

"Do over!" he cried desperately. The panda held up a sign that said [No way.]

"Come on Saotome, don't be like that," Mr. Tendo continued, unable to admit defeat. The panda cast a sidelong glance to stare towards the koi pond, then held up another sign that read [No deal.]

Soun began withering into an extreme state of depression. Genma held up a final sign that said [Maybe some sake will change my mind.]

"Of course!" Soun said, immediately happy. "Hey Kasumi! Could you bring in some sake?"

"Yes, father," Kasumi replied from in the kitchen. It wasn't long before the two old friends were drinking happily and having a new game of shogi.

**^ ^ ? v ^ ?! ^ ? ¿ v ^ v Ryoga's sense of direction / Scene Splitter ^ ?? v ^ !!! ^ ¿¿¿**

Fuku and Yamato both looked at their partially destroyed cruiser. It was getting dark and both officers were feeling downcast at their recent loss. The larger officer was in an odd state of calmness, which was making Yamato nervous. Never before had he seen Fuku so 'calm'.

A gentle breeze blew past both of them.

"GOD FUCKING DAMN THOSE FUCKIN' LIL PUNK-ASSED SHITS!!!!!" Fuku suddenly outburst, echoing throughout Nerima and earning a grimace from Yamato. "Wrecked the cruiser AND they got away! Now what are we gonna do?"

"You could always just go back to that Tendo Dojo place; they'd likely go there," Yamato stated.

"Right! Let's go!" Fuku quickly agreed.

"Egh, I think not," Yamato said, almost disgusted. Fuku gave him a questioning glance, so Yamato decided to speak his mind. "I've had enough of this crap, I learned martial arts, wasted about four months of my life training, even took that stupid strength enhancing pill last month that gave me gas for a week, and we STILL didn't get them. Admit it, we're outclassed here bud."

"No! Don't give up, we were so close!" Fuku appealed desperately. "We'll get them next time, I promise!"

Yamato turned and took three steps, then said, "No deal. Later Jerome, good luck with your little quest." Then he took off, leaving the bigger cop behind. Fuku stood still for a while, biting his lip and observing the wrecked cop car. Over the past four months of traveling together, he had started to think of Yamato as an actual companion instead of a nuisance, a friend even. They had developed an odd sort of bond when they were training at the Police Martial Arts dojo, and he honestly enjoyed the spars with his partner over the last couple of months. 'Yeah... partner,' he thought.

A few minutes passed, and he finally decided to go look for a late night restaraunt. The cop didn't think he could take all three of them on alone, even if he was as big as the three of them combined. He took a few steps, then heard something.

"WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW?!?!?!" called a displeased voice from the distance. A familiar voice; one the belonged to none other than Ryoga Hibiki. Fuku turned to see a boy dressed in yellow wandering aimlessly around the streets.

"Well well, what have we here," Fuku said quietly, grinning maliciously. He was confident that he could take them out one by one; plus now that Yamato was gone, he needed to release his frustration on something.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"Argh! That idiot, Ryoga!" Ranma said aloud as he searched through every room, corridor and closet in the house. "We were supposed to meet at the dojo, and the dope goes and gets lost." Still looking around, Ranma ran into Akane. "Hey Akane--"

"Have you seen P-chan?" she interrupted, "He disappeared when he followed you and Mr. Saotome into the dojo."

"Err, no... have you seen Ryoga?"

"Umm.. last I saw he was going to the front gate. Why?" Akane asked.

"ACK!!! Why didn't ya stop him??" Ranma scolded, clenching both of his fists in front of him in anger.

Akane was caught a little off guard by his outburst, but soon regained her angry compusure. "What do you mean 'why didn't I stop him'? He can go out if he wants!"

"That's not what I meant!" Ranma retorted. "Ya see, Ryoga has no sense of direction. He couldn't find his way out of a room with one door."

Akane gave him a skeptical look and said, "That's ridiculous. No sense of direction? I mean, come on!"

"I ain't lying!" Ranma hollered again.

"Knowing you, yes you are!" Akane yelled back. Angered, Ranma simply turned around and stomped his way towards the front door. "Where are you going?" Akane asked.

"To find that idiot!" Ranma replied before closing the door behind him.

"Honestly," Akane said to herself, then walked towards the dining room. It was almost time for bed and the jerk was going after Ryoga, who was probably just fine. Reaching the dining table, Akane sat down next to her father, who was enjoying some sake with his old friend.

"Growf," the panda said, holding up a sign. The words were carelessly scribbled in a drunken fashion, and Akane had to squint her eyes to make the words out. [Were's Ranma and Reeoga?]

"Ranma went searching for Ryoga, because he supposively has no sense of direction. Hah, what and idiot, eh?."

Genma held up another sign. [Reeoga don't have a sence of direcshion tho.]

Akane's eyes widened a little, but she remained silent.

**4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20**

**4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 ****Stoner Scene Splitter ****4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20**

**4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20**

As Ranma ran around the streets looking for his long lost friend, he heard what he'd hoped to hear. "WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW?!?!?!"

Homing in on the sound, he jumped across a few rooftops and spotted Ryoga. When he was about to jump down, he spotted a large figure charging at Ryoga. The large figure was in a typical blue officer suit, so Ranma came to the conclusion that it was Fuku. Ryoga turned and noticed the mass of flab flying at him.

"What the fuck?!" he cried in confusion, "I'm in a cop shop???"

Ranma sighed in exasperation and hopped down beside Ryoga, taking on a defensive stance. "Ryoga," Ranma said, "his head is his weak spot, don't punch him in the gut. It'll take both of us to take him down."

Ryoga turned to him and simply nodded before choosing a stance of his own.

"Two against one?" Fuku said, somewhat displeased, "heh, I'll fix that."

The large officer jumped high in the air, then put his hands behind his back. "Martial Arts Police Academy secret technique; Tri-Cuffs!" he shouted. Then he thrust both of his hands forward, and a long chain extended outwards. Before the two stoners could do anything about it, both of them had cuffs on each of their hands that connected to eachother, and one leading from each of them to the single cuff on Fuku's left arm. "Hah, lets see you get outta this one!"

Fuku jumped, and the two stoners followed. Ranma engaged in mid-air combat, weaving around some heavy kicks and punches. He couldn't use his hands very effectively though, they were resricted to about a foot away from eachother. Ryoga managed to get around Fuku, then wrapped the chain to his cuffs around Fuku's neck. The two struggled as they plummeted, giving Ranma some easy kicks to the cop's head.

When they landed, Fuku reached behind him and grabbed Ryoga, then threw him at Ranma. The teens both collapsed on the ground, giving the cop enough time to recover from the savage attack.

With a mighty yell, Fuku grabbed the chains that led from his single cuff to his opponent's cuffs, and started spinning around in circles. After the momentum built up, the two teens were spinning like mad, entangling their cuff chains and getting naucious.

Ranma didn't know about Ryoga, but his wrists were really starting to hurt like hell. Soon, he thought of a risky counter attack. If he could just get around Ryoga, he could reel himself in with the chains and kick the hell out of Fuku. That would leave Ryoga to handle the landing though. Narrowing his eyes in determination, he was about to move around Ryoga. However, at exactly that moment the cuffs around both his and Ryoga's wrists snapped open. The two soared through the air and crashed into a nearby wall encircling a vacant lot, breaking it on contant. Ranma took the majority of the damage because he was crushed by Ryoga.

The teenage stoners rose shakily to their feet, adopting defensive stances. Fuku was charging at them, at full force. When he was about three meters away, Ryoga leapt high into the air, but Ranma stayed put. The pigtailed pothead watched closely, and when Fuku threw a punch forward, he ducked, then uppercutted him.

As Fuku's head tilted backwards, he saw a foot descending right towards his face. He almost had enough time to yell, but Ryoga's foot solidly connected with his face, and Ranma took the opportunity to punch him in the neck. Fuku staggered backwards, no longer able to breathe while Ryoga landed next to Ranma. Both of them jumped on the cop and started nailing his face with a tiger's ferocity. The stoners rose to their feet, then proceeded to bootfuck the cop, stomping and kicking away. A relatively long while passed before they finally backed off, satisfied that Fuku was out for the night. Both of them were only mildly winded, surprisingly.

"That was a lot easier then before," Ranma said, somewhat content and at the same time somewhat disappointed.

"Guess we make a good team," Ryoga replied. They faced eachother, then high-fived and let out some drug-enhanced laughs. "Well, I'd say that was good enough for practice tonight, how about you Ranma?"

"Yeah." The two began journeying to the Tendo Dojo, Ryoga following Ranma closely as to not get lost again.

When they reached the dojo, all the lights were out. As they walked up the short walkway to the front door, Ryoga turned to Ranma. "So you're gonna go along with getting everyone high on shrooms tomorrow night?" he asked.

"You bet."

Ranma tried to open the door, but it was locked. He groaned and walked to the back entrance to the kitchen, and was relieved to find it was unlocked. The two quietly tip toed their way inside and closed the door. The stoners swiftly stalked towards the stairs, then walked up them, being careful to avoid that squeaky third step. They noiselessly tip toed to their room, as to not wake anyone up, and when they got to the door they opened it.

Inside, a drunk Genma and Soun were sitting on the floor smoking a huge joint. They both turned and Soun started sputtering, "It's not what it looks like, it's not what it- uh? Oh it's just you two. Phewww."

The two sat down, and got their share of the doobie. "We fought Fuku again, won this time," Ranma said triumphantly.

"Really?" Genma asked.

"Who's Fuku?" Soun asked.

"Yeah, we beat him too," Ryoga said, completely ignoring Soun's question. "I doubt he's gonna give up any time soon though."

"Hmmmm.." Genma hummed, pushing the rim of his glasses up the bridge of his nose with one finger. "The path of a true pothead is fraught with peril."

There was an eerie silence that followed those wise words, before everyone started chuckling. After the laughter died down, Soun turned to Genma. "So, who's Fuku?" he asked again.

After Genma told him about the foolish officer, Soun left and the three stoned martial potheads finally went to bed after such a long day.

**END chapter 7.**


	8. We put the Fun in Fungus

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or the characters. All I own is some characters I made up (Officer Fuku, Officer Yamato) and this story.

**Author Notes**: WOW, after about 5-6 years I actually decided to continue this story out of BOREDOM lol... All previous chapters have been updated and some changes were made, but nothing major. Hopefully you all enjoy this.

_Quick Joke: What does a receptionist at a sperm bank say to a client that's leaving? "Thanks for coming." HAAHAHAHAH!!! ROFL!!_

_**The Brotherhood: Half Baked**_

**Chapter 8: We put the Fun in Fungus**

Cheers rang throughout the entire street as the parade marched on. Men, women, and children of all nationalities rejoiced and cried out in joy. There was even an elephant tugging the massive carriage he was in, leading the parade. Proudly, the overweight man hopped onto the massive beast and put his arms in the air, posing for victory. He had finally done it! He had finally caught those cursed little bastards, and locked all three of them up!! The chief had promoted him, the entire team worshipped the ground he walked on, and Yamato sat beside him, modestly basking in the glory. There was nothing that could ruin this day, this was the most perfect day ever!

"Huh??" Fuku exclaimed suddenly. "That's..."

Ahead, three familiar figures grinned sinisterly, then turned and ran away. "WAIT!! You bastards, WAIT!!! DON'T YOU DARE RUIN THIS DAY!!!"

"Are you okay, sir?"

"Huh?" The light was blinding. His head felt like two rocks and smashed it into fine grits. Still, he managed to roll off his back and push himself up onto his feet. Glancing around, he took in the situation. A woman had come by to ensure he wasn't dead. His Tri-Cuff weapon was lying uselessly on the ground. Apparently he had slept on the street all night, and had been woken up from a dream.

When he started filing through his memories, Fuku's blood began to boil. Veins popped out of his head and neck and his entire being glowed an intense red. "DAAMMMNNN THEEEMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!"

The scream echoed for miles, and only succeeded in making the poor woman who was concerned for his safety run away crying. He had been so close! He had caught a feint taste of victory, only to have it slip out of his hands! On top of that, Yamato was gone. Now it was his problem, and only his problem.

"Son of a bitch," the overweight officer murmured, then plopped onto his rear. Something was definitely wrong with this picture. Hadn't he trained for those four agonizingly long months for this particular reason? What the hell was with their inhuman strength... Even his Tri-Cuffs were rendered completely useless in battle, even becoming a threat to himself. Just how the hell was he gonna get those little fuckers?

Fuku contemplated on how capturing them would be possible. Obviously brute force wasn't enough, and all of his tactics had failed. Maybe it was time for a new approach.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"Morning already?" Ranma said ungratefully. "Dammit, I wanna sleep jus' a little longer..."

SPLASH

"AHHH!!" she screamed. "What was that for ya jerk?!"

"When it's time to get up, you gotta get up, boy," her father replied matter-of-factly. Ryoga wasted no time rising to his feet, noting that the water bucket was still half full. Not that it mattered, Ranma booted it into her father's face anyways.

"Growf!!" A sign appeared instantaneously. [Yu wanna fite?!]

The two began brawling, even though it was so early in the morning. Just then Soun peered inside. "Breakfast is ready you guys. Did you not hear Kasumi calling?"

Relieved at the thought of food, the boy, girl, and animal forgot their quarrels and rushed downstairs to the dining table where bowls of breakfast were already waiting. They began gorging themselves as if it was the last meal they'd ever eat.

"Jeez," Akane grumbled with a scowl, "you think they would at least have some manners after destroying the house."

She went unheard by the trio, but Nabiki looked her way. "Hmmm?" her elder sister inquired. "After the three days we've put up with, is it really a surprise?"

Akane glanced slightly at Nabiki, but ignored her. It was one thing to be impolite and grotesque while eating a meal, but it was another to destroy the house and bring heaping mounds of drugs inside. Not only that, but bringing problems with the law as well. And then to have the nerve to act like nothing happened! "Hmph! Excuse me."

Kasumi gasped lightly and reached a hand out, partially to stop Akane from leaving and partially to console her, but the youngest daughter was already storming away. The three potheads didn't even seem to notice her departure, eagerly trying to defend their plates from one another.

After breakfast was over, Ranma and Ryoga stood up and stretched. "Guess it's time for school," Ryoga said. "Hopefully things go a little smoother then yesterday."

"Huh? Where'd Akane go?" Ranma asked the room.

"Oh, her and Nabiki have already left for school," Kasumi answered, smiling brilliantly.

"Really? I didn't even notice," Genma piped in, "but oh well. You can find your way, right Ranma?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Let's go, Ryoga, and try not to get lost again. Fuku's probably still around."

Ryoga nodded and they both began their trek to Furinkan High. Ranma walked on top of a chain link fence, while the lost boy followed from the ground, being sure not to lose sight of his friend. Along the way, the two veered off into an alley, not really caring whether they were late or not.

"You brought papers, right?" the pigtailed boy asked. Ryoga nodded and reached in his pocket, then pulled them out and tossed them over. Ranma then began busting up some of the weed they stole from Genma. When it was rolled, he sparked it up and started puffing away. After passing it a few times, a voice scared the shit out of both of them.

"Busted!"

Both of them nearly jumped out of their skin, and turned to the offending voice. Standing at the other end of the alley was Nabiki, walking ever so casually towards them. The coy smile on her face told a thousand lies because her eyes were marauding and bloodthirsty. Neither one of them could move an inch. All of the lies they told had just come crashing to a stop. There was no escaping from it this time, they'd been caught red handed.

"What a sight to behold!" the middle Tendo daughter said dramatically. "The two boys who were going to sell drugs to repay daddy are here smoking it all. Now isn't this ironic?"

"Uh, umm.. Uhmm..." both of the stoned teens fumbled and stammered, trying to think of what to say. "There's a good explanation for this!" Ryoga quickly declared.

"Coming from the one who lied in the first place?" Nabiki retorted wistfully. She was now face to face with him, staring him down. He gave way under her intense gaze and backed off, falling on his back and staying down. In deep admiration of the control in this situation, she gently and triumphantly placed her foot on his chest, then glared at Ranma, who raised his hands apologetically. She gestured for him to come closer, and he cautiously obliged. Without warning, she suddenly slapped him, then jammed her foot into Ryoga's chest. The reactions were pretty much the same, a surprised and painful grunt.

"That's for lying to me and my family," she said. "Now that I have your attention, I think it's best you listen to what I have to say. You wouldn't want my sisters and daddy to find out about this, would you?"

They both shook their heads no violently and desperately. Neither could even muster a word.

"Well then, this time I'm naming the price. If you can pay it within two days, I'll keep quiet. For you," she announced, pointing at Ranma, "40, 000 Yen."

Ranma's mouth gaped open, astonished at the absurdly brutal price.

"And for you," she said, leaning down so that Ryoga could get a good look at her devilish expression, "100, 000."

"Huh?? Why am I so much higher?!" Ryoga complained, even though the circumstances were dire.

"It's nothing personal," Nabiki replied instantly. "Just consider it interest for not fully paying your dues for the favors I helped you with yesterday."

With that said, having stuck both of their egos six feet under and having gained the upper hand, the short haired girl stood up and gracefully walked to the entrance of the alleyway. Before she took off, she turned around and looked at them with what might have been a genuine smile. "Well I hope you can get that much in two days, I'm sure it'll be simple if you just sell that stuff. Like you said, it's easy money, right Ryoga?" the bandana boy started sweating bullets. "But if you can't get it.... who knows who might find out?"

The malevolent girl winked, then blew them each a kiss before running towards the school. "Don't be late for class now!"

They stood/layed there for one minute. Two minutes. After the fifth minute of complete silence passed and they felt somewhat safe from the girl's evil clutches, Ranma kneeled down and talked in a low manner, as if someone might be listening.

"She's a witch!" he exclaimed.

"A witch with a capital B!" Ryoga added.

"What are we gonna do?"

"We're screwed!"

"We didn't prepare for this!"

"We're done for!"

The final words the girl had said rang through Ranma's head. 'Don't be late for class now!'

"We gotta go! She might rat us all out if we don't do everything she--"

"Wait," Ryoga interjected. "We can't afford to go to school right now. You heard her, we owe her a total of 140,000 yen to keep our secret! That means we gotta do something now, if we don't we're royally fucked!"

The two pondered the situation in silence. After a moment passed, Ryoga spoke.

"But you know what?" he said quietly.

"What?" Ranma asked, hoping for a solution. Instead:

"...THAT WAS TRIPPY!!!" Ryoga exclaimed.

"Fuckin' Right!" Ranma cried.

**^ ^ ? v ^ ?! ^ ? ¿ v ^ v Ryoga's sense of direction / Scene Splitter ^ ?? v ^ !!! ^ ¿¿¿**

The day had gone by rather fast, but fortunately things were looking good. Ranma and Ryoga had decided to go to school after all. It was the best, and probably the only way to solicit drugs in their position. They made a few friends in their second class, Hiroshi and Daisuke, who turned out to be great customers. They bought for themselves, and also provided for other classmates by going through the two marijuana martial artists. Now Ranma and Ryoga were passing a joint back and forth, having taken a different route from the school. When they were good and satisfied with the buzz, the two found a restaraunt. After only ordering water, seeing as money couldn't be carelessly spent, they began counting their earnings for the day.

"I got 16,750 here," Ryoga said.

"22,350 here," Ranma followed. The two struggled to add the sums together to get the grand total of 39,100 yen. It was quite a killing for their first day, and they never anticipated it would sell so quick at a school. "But you know," Ranma continued, "I don't think we'll make it at this rate. We managed to pull this much in, but my stash is running low and we only got two days."

Both of the boys sighed in defeat, the hopelessness of the current conditions weighing down on them like Fuku's fat ass. Even if they managed to sell it all, it wouldn't be enough. Their only hope would be to find a briefcase full of money, or a reasonable huge amount of dope to sell and hope for an enormous amount of buyers. Either way, it seemed hopeless.

"Wait, I know!"

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

'I wonder if this will even work,' Fuku thought. It definitely wasn't a legal method, and it was a pretty risky thing to do for his finances as well. But it might just work, if those fools were stupid enough. He looked over the map in his partly destroyed caparice, looking for a particular spot on the map. His eyes found the ghetto town that he had previously been in and he started his engine. Without hesitating, he shot off at full speed towards the nearest bank.

"Sliver Felando," Fuku said. An odd name indeed. A very strange, very uptight and very dangerous person. However, contacting this man was necessary if his plan was to succeed.

"I'll get you this time for sure, you cock suckers," the mustached fat ass said impishly. Nothing would stand between him and revenge.

He went inside the bank and withdrew almost all of his hard earned cash, then he stashed it in the trunk. When he was seated and the shock-stressed vehicle was on a good 20 degree angle, he sped off in the direction of the Felando residence.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"I got it!!" Ranma exclaimed. Ryoga's head shot up and he looked at his friend intently.

"Well?"

"Tonight," Ranma said simply, a mischievious grin stretching across his face.

Ryoga spaztically gestured for him to continue. "Go on, go on!," he pressed.

"Come on man, think about it! Remember what we said was going down tonight?"

A couple of confused seconds passed by until finally a second grin spread across Ryoga's face. "Of course!" he exclaimed. How could he have forgot? It could easily be used to their advantage!

"So here's the plan," Ranma started, then leaned in to whisper. Seconds later, they heard footsteps approaching.

"What are you two planning," Nabiki demanded, her words strengthened by authority. "Neither of you better think up any clever 'schemes'. Just know that if you try anything, everyone's going to find out about your little secret tonight at dinner. Especially Akane," she added that last one with a sharp look at Ranma and an extra dose of venom, who in turn delivered the mortified, apologetic look she was fishing for. She smiled, then winked before she made for the door.

Ranma and Ryoga's expressions weren't quite like that of a deer caught in the headlights of a train, but more the expression of the deer after he had jumped onto the second track, turned around, and saw the other much faster train coming. Neither said a word, nor moved a muscle.

Two minutes passed before they looked at each other, beads of sweat pouring of one another's face. Ranma didn't speak, only silently mouthed out the word 'witch'. Ryoga kept his mouth shut as well, and somehow made a capital B with his hands. Ranma couldn't help but chuckle.

Finally, Ryoga spoke up. "Well, tonight's our only hope."

Ranma nodded, and both boys left the restaraunt, quietly plotting as they made their way back to the Tendo residence.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"Checkmate!" Soun shouted in glee. He promptly jumped up, then waved around two fans and gloated.

"Do over!" Genma cried, to which Soun just turned around and laughed in triumph. At the sight of an opportunity, Genma stealthily grabbed his king and moved it a square to the left, and quickly set it up so he would have Soun in checkmate with the next move.

With a deep smile he proclaimed, "And just how is this checkmate, Tendo?"

Soun sat back down and pointed, confident that Genma was just being a sore loser. Then his face dropped when he saw Genma's king wasn't in the right place. The cheating drug hound then slid one of his pieces into place and shouted with a hearty laugh, "Checkmate!!"

Tendo slung over in defeat and his eyes became waterfall producers. "That's not fair! I won!" he bawled, while Saotome laughed harder.

"I'm home!" called a familiar voice, belonging to the youngest daughter. She entered the room where the two were verbally battling over the position of victor. When she entered, they stopped and looked at her.

"Oh, hi Akane," Genma said with a still-basking-in-the-glory smirk. "Did the boys not come back with you?"

"No, I haven't seen them since second class," she replied. Her expression was troubled, but still had quite a bit of anger showing. She rolled her eyes at the two old men. Akane then decided to go upstairs to her room. With a heavy sigh, she flopped onto her bed and thought to herself.

'I can't believe daddy's so relaxed. Even if they were trying to help us, they still brought drugs into the house and now the police are probably watching us.'

It wasn't long before Nabiki came home, shortly followed by the two stoners. They didn't even bother going to say hello to anyone, instead choosing to bolt up the stairs into their room. After making sure no one was around, they locked the door. Ranma started to roll a joint while Ryoga picked through both of the backpacks, scoping out any mushrooms he could find. In total, he managed to gather just under an ounce. Without delay, he put all the mushrooms in one big bag and started crushing them up.

"I didn't think we had this much left over," Ryoga said quietly to his companion. They were both still on a major paranoia trip, not knowing whether Nabiki was trying to listen in on them or not. After rolling a joint, Ranma went over what had to be done. Step one - One of them would distract Kasumi after dinner was started. Step two - The other would sneak into the kitchen and plant the shrooms. Step three - Get everyone high at dinner and let luck handle everything else.

Ranma opened the window and lit up the joint, then helped Ryoga crush up the mushrooms.

"Ahhh," sighed Ranma in relief at his first few puffs. "That hits the spot."

Now that the shrooms were for the most part reduced to dust, they sat back and finished the joint. Being so high, the feeling of impending doom seemed to drift away. Just then came a knock on the door. Eyes widening in suspicion, both boys turned to the door.

"What's going on in there?" came Genma's voice. "Let me in!"

In a clusterfucked rush, they swept all of the mushrooms into Genma's backpack. Ryoga grabbed it and hopped out the window.

"Alright already!" Ranma called back. The pigtailed boy slid the door open and let Genma inside. The bald man presented an enormous blunt.

"We can't smoke it here," Genma said quietly, "so lets go for a walk."

The two quietly slipped down the stairs. They managed to sneak outside and out the gate, where Genma lit the blunt. Proceding to walk in circles around the wall, they hauled on the massive gagger.

Ranma couldn't miss out on this opportunity to smoke a fatty, but in the back of his mind he worried about whether Kasumi has started dinner already or not.

**4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20**

**4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 ****Stoner Scene Splitter ****4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20**

**4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20 4:20**

Ryoga bweed in discontent over the situation. Somehow, as he was falling, he got hit in the face by some passing by kid playing with a super soaker. Now his buzz was gone and he was unable to find his way back. He latched onto a strap of the bookbag and dragged it with all his might in whatever direction he happened to be going. Soon after, he found himself at the side of what looked like in his piggy form, a gigantic step leading to an even more enourmous doorway.

With a mighty heave, he pulled his piggy form onto the step and peered in. A nice, distinct aroma came from inside. He quietly snuck in an spied around the corner. Inside, Kasumi already had dinner started, and by the intensely appetizing scent Ryoga could tell it was almost done.

'Now what do I do?' he thought in dismay. The kind woman happened to turn and see him, and the piglet squealed in surprise. Quickly he bolted out the door in a random direction.

"Wasn't that Akane's little pet?" Kasumi said out loud to herself. She set down the spoon she was stirring some shrimp stir-fry with and followed it outside. She peered to the left and found the little piglet bashfully backing away. "Shouldn't you be inside?" she asked.

Ryoga didn't know what to do. If Kasumi turned around from where she was, she'd see the bag of shrooms. Then Ranma happened to jump up on the wall from outside the property, right in her blind spot. Ryoga's eyes widened in astonishment. If the girl were to even turn slightly, he'd be right in her parapheral vision. In an act of desperation, he acted like he was dying of some disease, dramatically falling over and playing dead.

"Oh my," said Kasumi, bring a hand up to her mouth. She rushed over in a concerned manner and picked the little black stoner-piggy up. Cradling him with great care, she walked through the lawn into the dining room.

"Akane?" she asked. When there was no reply, she went for the stairs.

At that moment, although he had no idea what just happened, Ranma rushed down and grabbed the backpack, then crept into the kitchen and looked inside. No one was there, and dinner was cooking. With a frolicsome smile, he tip toed in and reached inside the pack. The mushrooms sizzled as he let the crushed caps flow out of the bag into the various dishes. Vigorously stirring it all in, he checked either side to make sure no one was coming. He even sprinkled a bit on the buns, then reached to shoulder the backpack. Something caught his eye, and he noticed something else was still inside. Picking it up, he examined it. The unfamiliar looking stuff inside a baggy left him somewhat baffled.

"I've never seen this stuff before," he said. The boy shrugged and put it in the stir-fry, then stirred it in with haste. Nodding in content at a job well done, he left through the entrance.

A few seconds later, Kasumi walked back in through the hallway and stirred all of the dishes. She smiled to herself, noting that it would be done soon, but she had to admit that something was different with the smell. Surely it hadn't smelled this funky before she went upstairs?

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Scene Splitter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

When it was dinner time, everyone sat patiently aound the table as Kasumi dished out the meal. Two of the stoners gorged into it as soon as it was in front of them, while Ryoga sat on Akane's lap as her pet.

"Is Ryoga not here?" Kasumi asked, slightly downcast at his absense.

"Who knows, he's probably off lost somewhere," Ranma fibbed with a full mouth. "Isn't that right, 'P-chan'?"

The disgruntled pig bweed angrily at him. Akane spoke up with a clearly annoyed tone. "Don't tease him, Ranma!"

The pigtailed boy snorted in response. Throughout the chaos, Ranma happened to catch Nabiki staring at him suspiciously. When she saw him look, she winked at him with an obviously fake smile, as if to say that she meant business. An unknown chill ran up the pigtailed pothead's spine, giving him the shivers. He avoided any eye contact throughout the rest of dinner.

Everyone thanked Kasumi for the great dinner, even though it smelled a little weird. Minutes passed, and Ranma and Ryoga were both dying in anticipation. They hoped that because the shrooms were cooked that it didn't ruin them.

Nabiki was keeping a good eye on them, making sure they didn't try anything. After a good half an hour, Ranma finally saw bubbles appearing in the corner of his eye. He shut them, then grinned.

"It's finally happening," he said with a smirk. Ryoga nodded. Yes, the buzz was definitely kicking in.

But then the author got lazy. To be continued. :)

**END Chapter 8.**

Haha hope you enjoyed it.... the next chapter is gonna be CRAZY!! XD


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